Where do we go from here?
by Dr Dave
Summary: The story of four characters and the traumas they face, is a fairytale ending on the cards? or will tragedy prevail?
1. Default Chapter

Where do we go from here?  
  
Notes:  
  
I'm trying to go for a fairly long story here since all of my previous ER stories have been short, one chapter jobs. I also feel the need to warn you that although I do try to keep in the characters represented in the show, in previous works of mine I have tended to go a little out of character. I have tried to keep this occurrence down to a minimum but just beware of a few unintentional lulls that might be scattered in this story. That's all I really have to say on this one, so as always, enjoy reading and please review with any feedback you have on this!  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
I don't own the ER characters contained within this story (including Dave *sniffle*) except for Michael Malucci and any other characters similar to him I use along the way.  
  
Chapter One: After the roof  
  
Dave slowly made his way back down to the ER. He knew that he was about to face a very pissed of Kerry Weaver. That was never an experience he looked forward to, but more so now. He cursed himself for once again, letting his anger get the better of him. He remembered what he had seen on The Chief's report on him.  
  
"Dr Malucci is particularly sensitive with child abuse cases"  
  
Dave approached the admit desk with a heavy heart, he was about to face the music, a prospect that he knew he wasn't going to enjoy. "Have you seen The Chief"? He asked Randi who was, as usual, lost in a fashion magazine. "She's in the lounge" Randi replied, not even looking up from her magazine.  
  
"Thanks" Dave muttered with a touch of sarcasm to his voice. Taking a small gulp, he entered the lounge and sure enough, at the table, sat a very pissed off looking Kerry. "Malucci, I was beginning to wonder when you would grace us with your presence again" she spat sarcastically as Dave took a seat on the sofa.  
  
"I'm sorry Chief" Dave replied quietly. After his little outburst on the roof with Luka, he wasn't sure whether he could control his emotions right now. "Sorry isn't going to cut it Dr Malucci. I've lost count of the amount of times that you've blown your top over these abuse cases. For some reason unbeknown to me you cannot seem to deal with them. As for your outburst in the trauma room I think the less mentioned about that the better"  
  
"Yeah" Dave muttered, he wasn't sure of what to say. He'd never seen Kerry this angry before.  
  
"I'm still considering how to deal with this incident. Suspension doesn't appear to work. The way I see it now, I can either consider a longer period of suspension to see if that works or a termination of your job here" Kerry replied.  
  
"You mean..fire me"? Dave asked, looking at the older woman in shock.  
  
"Yes" Kerry said simply. "Now what I suggest you do is go back to your work and keep your nose clean. I should have a decision for you by the end of your shift" She continued. She then turned back to her paperwork, indicating to Dave that their exchange was well and truly over.  
  
Dave didn't need an invitation to leave. He pulled himself from the sofa and left the lounge. He couldn't believe what he had just been told. He was looking at the possible chance of losing his job over his earlier actions. Not that he could really blame Kerry, Dave was a self-confessed jerk at times. He sighed sadly and made his way back to the admit desk to find a new case. As he did so, he collided with Luka who was heading in the opposite direction. "Twice in the same day Dave" Luka smiled kindly.  
  
"Yeah, one of these days I'm actually gonna look where I'm going" Dave joked although his heart wasn't really in it. "Are you alright Dave"? Luka asked, staring the junior resident directly in the eyes. "Yeah...I'm fine" Dave lied, flashing his trademark smile.  
  
"Did you sort things out with Doctor Weaver"?  
  
"She hasn't made a decision on what's she's going to do yet. Don't worry though, I'm sure whatever Festus has in store for me I'll handle" Dave said with a confidence he didn't really feel. "You can talk to me if you want Dave" Luka offered.  
  
"It's ok Luka, like I said, I'll handle it" Dave repeated as he walked away.  
  
The Croatian attending stared at Dave as he left. He couldn't ignore the fact that the junior resident was suffering. He cursed himself for not being able to see it before. Although he hadn't exactly been a great friend towards Dave in past, Luka made a promise to himself to befriend Dave. He sensed that Dave needed someone, and with his helpful nature, Luka decided he would be that someone.  
  
*~*  
  
"Have you talked to Dave since he flipped"? Carter asked Abby as he met her in the storage room. "No, I thought it would be best to leave him alone" Abby replied, rearranging the sets of scrubs.  
  
"I'm beginning to wonder what his problem is, he's such a jerk to everyone here" Carter complained.  
  
"I wouldn't be so hard on him Carter, you don't know what kind of past he might have had"  
  
"No sort of past is an excuse for being a complete asshole Abby. Besides, it's not like he's the only one that's had it tough in his life" Carter spat.  
  
"Yeah, you must've been heartbroken when your Faberge egg collection broke" Abby joked with a smirk.  
  
"Ha ha" Carter said sarcastically. He usually hated jokes about his wealth, particularly from Dave, but in Abby's case he never seemed to mind. Carter returned the smile whilst thinking about how beautiful Abby actually was. Abby smirked again and left the storage room with her scrubs. "Hey Carter, you can blink now" She replied, laughing.  
  
*~*  
  
"Kerry I don't have time for your bullshit" Romano complained as he sped down the corridors of the O.R. He was well aware that Kerry was having trouble keeping up with him, but to him that made no different whatsoever. "Robert, you are the chief of staff and since I'm here to talk about a member of staff, make time"! Kerry replied angrily, hating the way this man always seemed to have his head up his own ass.  
  
"Which member of staff in particular"? Romano demanded. He stopped dead and folded his arms across his chest. He was a very busy man and did not want to waste his time on Kerry Weaver's petty little troubles from the ER. "Dr Malucci"  
  
"Malatucci? What's he done"?  
  
"He's hit a patient, another abuse case" Kerry replied.  
  
"I've heard this before Kerry and frankly I don't give a damn about Malatucci, you want to fire him, fire him, I'll leave it in your hands. Now if you don't mind, I have a very challenging heart operation to perform and it won't perform itself now will it"? Romano didn't wait for any response from Kerry; he simply turned on his heel and headed in the direction of O.R three.  
  
Kerry sighed as she limped off back to the ER. She had a decision to make about Dr Malucci's future and she needed to be sure that it was the right one.  
  
*~*  
  
Luka pulled on his jacket and wrapped his scarf around his neck. For a moment he fingered the knitted material carefully. His beautiful wife, Daniela, had made that very scarf for him as a present. He still treasured it after all these years. Luka sighed, a small part of him wishing that he was back home in Croatia with his family before the terrible tragedy had ever happened. Luka pushed those thoughts out of his head, he was happy enough here in Chicago. The only thing he did miss was to feel close to someone. To have them lying in bed next to you knowing you can cuddle up to them and tell them you love them whenever you wanted to. So far all he'd had in Chicago was a couple of liaisons with strangers, neither of which went very far. Luka closed his locker just as Dave entered the lounge. "Hello again Dave" He greeted his co-worker warmly.  
  
"Hey Luka" Dave replied, he sounded a bit distracted.  
  
"Are you here to meet Kerry"? Luka asked.  
  
"Yeah, she said she'd have a decision for me" Dave said, swallowing hard.  
  
"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about Dave, you're a good doctor. County can't afford to lose you"  
  
"Thanks for the support Luka. I really want to believe what you just said".  
  
"I'm off now Dave, but I'll see you in morning" Luka replied with a smile.  
  
"If I'm still here" Dave muttered under his breath.  
  
"I hope you are" Luka said as left the lounge. Dave smiled a bit. Luka was a nice guy when you got to know him. The strong, silent foreign thing seemed to be a guise Luka had. Dave decided it might be quite nice to get know him better then maybe he'd have a friend here. That was something Dave was in need of, someone to call a friend. "Ah Dr Malucci I see you're early for once" Kerry stated as she entered the lounge.  
  
"Yeah" Dave replied quietly.  
  
"Have a seat" Kerry ordered, motioning to the table. Dave complied and Kerry took a seat opposite him. The older doctor removed her glasses and looked at Dave directly. Dave was filled with a sense of unease; this was it his career at County was over. "I've been considering what action to take all day" Kerry began flatly. "In usual circumstances I'd have you terminated from your job here but, luckily for you Dr Malucci we're currently short staffed. Bearing that in mind I am willing to give you one final chance. Understand that if any more incidents of this nature occur, you will be fired on the spot. Don't think you are getting away with this Dr Malucci, you will be docked twenty per cent of your wage this month, let that serve as your punishment for your actions" Kerry continued, meeting Dave's eyes with an even stare, looking for any hint of arrogance.  
  
"I understand Chief, thanks for giving me another chance" Dave replied happily, flashing Dr Weaver his best smile. He wasn't too happy about the pay cut but at least he still had a job to come to. "Remember Dr Malucci, this is your final chance"  
  
"Yes Chief"  
  
"You may go now" Kerry said dismissing Dave with a wave of her hand. Dave didn't need telling twice. He left the lounge and as soon as he was out of Dr Weaver's range, he let out a whoop of joy and even did a little leap in the air, punching his fist above him. Dave grinned from ear to ear and picked up his next case, ignoring the weird looks that Randi and the rest of the admit desk were giving him.  
  
END OF CHAPTER ONE 


	2. Luka's Decision

Notes:  
  
Here's the second part of "Where do we go from here?" and I feel it appropriate to warn you of some Luka/Dave romance coming up within the storyline. If you don't like homosexual relationships then I suggest that you don't read any further. I don't intend to portray anything graphic but if you are uncomfortable about homosexuality in any way, shape or form then turn back now.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Surprisingly I still don't own Dave and the rest of the ER (and very sad I am too! *sniffle*)  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
Chapter Two - Luka's decision  
  
Luka watched the brown liquid swirl around the mug as he stirred the coffee. He was preoccupied. Ever since he'd arrived home he couldn't stop thinking of Dave and how his meeting with Kerry had gone. Luka wished that he had some contact number for Dave, if he'd been fired, he'd definitely need comfort from someone who cared and Luka was confident enough to say that he cared for Dave. He was getting more and more used to the idea of him and Dave being friends. They both had been pretty lonely since joining the staff of County, Dave probably more so. Luka thanked his lucky stars that he at least had Abby. Luka blinked then remembered, of course! Abby! He'd left her in his lounge while he'd gone to make a drink. In all the worry about Dave, he'd completely forgotten that Abby was staying after her neighbour attacked her. Luka took the coffee into the lounge and sat in the chair after handing Abby her mug. "Hey Luka, were you happy in your marriage"? Abby asked.  
  
"What made you ask that"?  
  
"Well the woman my neighbour lived with seemed to be happy with him even though he was violent, it took a lot of pushing to get her to realise what an animal he actually was to her. It made me think, were we really happy in our marriages or were we so blinded by love we couldn't see our partner's faults"? Abby explained, taking a sip from her cup.  
  
"I was happy with Daniella. We didn't really have much money and we didn't live in a big house, but with our children, we wanted for nothing. Daniella was so perfect for me" Luka said with a small sigh.  
  
"I thought that I was happy with Richard but things just didn't work out, I guess I had a fear of commitment" Abby admitted.  
  
"I thought I would be with Daniella forever, there was no doubt in my mind that I loved her, she was the one for me" Luka replied sadly.  
  
"Do you still love her as much"? Abby asked.  
  
"Yes, but I know that she would've wanted me to find someone else, she sometimes said to me, if she ever.died..she would be happy for me whoever I found and she knew it meant I wouldn't love her any less, all she wanted was for me to be happy".  
  
"And are you"? Abby stared at Luka.  
  
"I most ways I am, I must admit sometimes it is sad not to have a special someone in my life, but I am doubting I will ever find what me and Daniella shared ever again"  
  
"Has there been anyone since Daniella, anyone at all"? Abby asked, knowing that Luka would probably refer to their short-lived relationship.  
  
"There was you of course and then just a couple of one night stands...but I'm not that kind of guy. I don't like having one night stands, I'm more into commitment" Luka answered, looking up to meet Abby's eye. The nurse smiled gently.  
  
"Good..I thought we had another Malucci on our hands then, having to hear about *your* wild exploits" She joked. Luka frowned.  
  
"Speaking of Dave...what do you think about him"? Luka asked.  
  
"I've never really given it much thought. He's alright I suppose, in small doses"  
  
"Oh" Luka said distantly. He'd been hoping for a better answer than he had been given.  
  
"Why'd you ask"? Abby questioned. She had wondered how Luka had gone from his relationship to Daniella to thinking about Dave.  
  
"I've been thinking about Dave a lot. The other day we had a talk on the roof at County...he told me a few things. Those things made me realise how alone Dave truly is at the hospital. I've recently started to think that I should make an effort to get to know him. No man deserves to be lonely. I'm starting to care for him." Luka admitted.  
  
"In what sense"? Abby stared at Luka, her expression showed nothing but seriousness. The young nurse decided if her friend was about to 'come out' to her, she shouldn't appear amused. "Just in a friendship sense" Luka said firmly. Abby nodded and a silence fell between the pair. Luka sipped his coffee, wondering if what he'd just said was true.  
  
*~*  
  
Dave threw his backpack on the floor as he entered his apartment. Although his apartment wasn't the cleanest it could be, the odd take-away carton and pile of clothes here and there and the perpetual smell of cheap disinfectant, Dave found it a suitable place to live until he could afford somewhere better. "Dave"? A female voice called. Dave wandered through to the small kitchen and found Mrs Hinton making some hot chocolate. "Hey Mrs Hinton" Dave greeted the older woman. He loved Mrs Hinton. She was the old lady who lived next door. Ever since he'd moved in, Mrs Hinton had been his babysitter for his four year old son, Michael. "How's Mikey"? He asked with a smile. Michael was his beautiful baby boy, who resembled him in both looks and his cheeky disposition. "He's fine. I managed to get him to go to sleep this time. He normally wants to wait up for his daddy" Mrs Hinton replied, returning Dave's smile. "Here's your hot chocolate" She added, handing Dave the steaming mug.  
  
"Thanks Mrs H" Dave replied. "Do you need the money now or can I pay you at the end of the week"?  
  
"Oh don't worry about that dear. You know I love looking after Michael" Mrs Hinton smiled as she put on her coat.  
  
"Mrs H I insist, you do and lot for Mikey and me, we gotta give you something" Dave insisted as he opened the door for the kind woman.  
  
"Ok, then you can pay me at the end of the week, goodnight Dave"  
  
"I'll walk you back to your place" Dave replied.  
  
"I won't hear of it Dave! It's only next door, besides, I'm a tough old boot" She joked. Dave nodded and watched the old woman leave. Dave closed the front door and wandered across the small lounge to Michael's room. He always checked on his son whenever he returned home; it was his way of proving he was doing a better job as a father than his own dad ever did. Dave opened the door quietly and left it ajar, allowing a small amount of light to seep into the room. Dave crept over to his son's bed and in the dim light, could just make out his son's sleeping form, his small chest rising and then falling with each breath. Dave gently tucked the covers around his son and stared down at the small boy.  
  
***flashback***  
  
"Momma"? The tiny, scared voice asked. Everything seemed so dark, so lonely in this cold room.  
  
"I'm here Davey" Mrs Malucci whispered to the seven year old. Her features were outlined in the dark. Little Dave could clearly make out his mother's soft features, that gentle smile and as she leaned in closer, he could smell that familiar powdery, floral scent that was always so comforting. "Momma, why is daddy so mad"? Dave whispered. His eyes darted around the small bedroom checking that the drunken tyrant was nowhere to be seen. "Don't worry about Daddy Davey, just you try and get some sleep" His mother said as she drew the thin covers over her son. She leaned closer and kissed him on the forehead then wrapped her hand around his own tiny hand. "Love you baby" She whispered as she watched her baby drift off to sleep.  
  
"Love you Momma" came the quiet reply.  
  
***end flashback***  
  
Dave stroked Michael's soft, brown hair. Tears glistened in the older man's eyes as, just like his mother had done for him years ago, he bent down and kissed his baby boy's forehead. "Love you Mikey"  
  
*~*  
  
Dead, Dave could barely believe it. For the first time in his short career here, the ER of Cook County General hospital was quiet. There was no screaming from bereaved family members or children with cut knees. There was no shouting from people who had been waiting for hours in chairs. No- one was puking their guts onto the otherwise pristine floor. As much as Dave liked easy days, the whole experience was unsettling. It was almost like the calm before the storm, like everyone was just waiting around for something to happen. "Quiet morning" A gentle voice remarked. Dave looked up from the paperwork he was pretending to do and saw Luka stood by the desk. Dave smiled up at the older man's rugged features. "Yeah, it's a bit un-nerving really" Dave replied.  
  
"How are you this morning Dave"? The Croatian attending asked as he placed his trusty stethoscope around his neck. "I'm fine and you"?  
  
"As well as I can be at this ungodly hour" Luka answered with a smirk.  
  
"Luka, can I count on your attendance"? Carter asked, spinning around in his chair so he faced his co-worker. "My attendance"?  
  
"Drinks at my place tonight, we could all do with the chance to relax" Carter replied. "Plus it gives him the chance to show off the new dining room furniture" Abby added. The nurse was leaning against the desk, a small smile playing on her lips. Carter mockingly rolled his eyes. "You know me too well" He joked.  
  
"I'd love to come" Luka answered. He wasn't particularly on friendly terms with Dr Carter, but drinks did sound like a really good idea. "Great, I've already got Mark and Elizabeth as 'yes's', I'll have to track down Peter, you're coming too aren't you Abby"?  
  
"Wild Weaver's wouldn't keep me away" Abby replied with a hint of sarcasm. "If you'll excuse me, I believe I have a lovely little boy who's eaten too much chocolate to deal with"  
  
"I'll take the chronic back pain in curtain two" Carter said as he grabbed the corresponding chart.  
  
Throughout this exchange, Dave had remained uncharacteristically quiet. When Carter was asking the others he'd felt invisible. Not that he wasn't used to it; all his life Dave had been invisible to others. He sighed and stared at the chart in front of him. "Are you going to come tonight Dave"? A voice asked from behind him. Dave turned around and came face to face with Luka. "Did you hear him invite me Luka"? Dave asked, a bitter tone to his voice.  
  
"No, but I'm sure he won't mind if I bring a guest" The Croatian attending replied with a gentle smile. "It's ok, I don't need your pity" Dave said as he rose from his seat. "I'll probably hook up with some hottie anyway" He added with a cheeky smirk that he didn't really feel.  
  
"Well at least think about it" Luka replied, sounding a little hurt. Although Luka did not know Dave that well, he could easily see when the junior resident was faking. "If it'll make you happy Luka, I'll think about it" Dave answered with that trademark Malucci smile. He grabbed the nearest chart and dashed off to find his patient.  
  
~*~  
  
Luka frowned as he searched through the pairs of scrubs, looking for a set that might possibly fit him. His nostrils twitched from the potent smell of vomit that was emitting from his chest and lap. Luka decided then and there that the next time he had a drunken patient, he would arrange for a bucket to be on hand. Even though the Croatian doctor was used to the smell, he could still feel his own stomach heaving as he searched row after row of scrubs. All he had come up with so far were small sizes and those nasty pink maternity scrubs that no self-respecting guy would wear. The door creaked open making Luka jump. Carter entered mumbling to himself. His own green scrub top was covered in blood, indicating he'd just dealt with a serious trauma. "I take it you need a new top too"? Luka asked, continuing his search.  
  
"Yeah, we had a major MVA come in, and as you can see I caught the worst of the mess" Carter replied, indicating his stained clothing.  
  
"You'll be lucky if you find something in here. This place is such a mess" Luka said, sounding a little frustrated.  
  
"That's why it'll be great to get a break from this place and a chance to relax round at my place tonight" Carter answered. He reached up onto the top shelf and immediately located a new scrub top in his size. Luka frowned and shook his head. "About that..." He started, feeling a little nervous.  
  
"You can't make it"? Carter interrupted.  
  
"No, no of course I can make it, I just hope you don't mind that I'm bringing a guest" Luka continued.  
  
"A guest? Of course you can bring one, I'm sure whoever she is, she's nice" Carter replied with a smirk, nudging Luka a little.  
  
"It's Dave" Luka said simply.  
  
"Dave"? Carter spluttered. "Why did you ask Malucci"?  
  
"Dave isn't that bad you know Carter" Luka replied defensively. He was beginning to dislike the way people reacted when he said Dave's name. "I'm not too sure about that Luka, he seems like a jerk to me" Carter said with a frown.  
  
"Well you'll have a chance to find out what he's really like tonight" Luka replied confidently. He grabbed the nearest scrub top and left the storage closet, leaving Carter staring after him in disbelief.  
  
END OF CHAPTER TWO 


	3. Drinks and Dave

Notes:  
  
Right, here's the third part of 'Where do we go from here', I don't really have much to warn you about in this chapter, so I won't beat about the bush, let's get on with Chapter three!  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Once again, I don't own ER or any of the characters and yes, I am very sad about that.  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
Chapter Three - Drinks and Dave  
  
Luka couldn't help but gaze around the room with awe. He knew that Carter was rich, but not this rich. The Carter mansion was extremely large and elaborately decorated with regal reds and golds. The room the staff had gathered in was some kind of dining area with a large, oak table at one end of the room, surrounded by countless chairs and two large red velvet sofas at the other. To Luka this room looked more like a king or queen's dining room than one of his co-worker's. He was almost afraid to touch anything just in case he broke any of the beautifully crafted furniture and objects d'art that were dotted around the place. The room smelled of a mixture of brandy and perfume, in short, the room smelled rich. It looked rich, it felt rich and Luka was not at home in these surroundings. "Yes, we had these shipped in especially from Europe" Carter was saying as he indicated the ornate crystal decanters in the middle of the table. "Personally I don't really rate them, it's what's in them that's more important" He joked. All but Luka laughed, he still felt pretty uncomfortable here, like he didn't really belong.  
  
"Abby, have you seen Dave since this morning"? He asked, turning to the nurse.  
  
"I saw him leave work on his bike, but I couldn't really tell you where he was going" Abby replied.  
  
"So where is the infamous Dr Dave"? Carter questioned with a mocking tone.  
  
"He's probably picking up some girl in one of those cheap bars he likes to frequent" Mark Greene joked.  
  
"He doesn't do that all the time you know" Luka snapped.  
  
"What is with you Luka? Why are you always so defensive when we talk about Dave"? Abby asked with a frown.  
  
"Because you all seem to think that you know him so well. In truth, I'm the only one who's actually making an effort with Dave. You act like you're all better than him because he's always getting into trouble with Dr Weaver; you seem to think that you can treat him like dirt because of the way he acts. Sure, he might be a jerk at times but that's not all there is too him, you're all just too blind to see that there might be a really nice guy under that act, because that's all it is you know, an act, I bet none of you considered that now did you"? Luka answered, fighting to keep from yelling at all of his colleagues.  
  
"Luka...just chill out ok? We didn't mean anything" Abby replied gently.  
  
"No, I will not 'chill out' I'm disgusting with the way you all treat Dave, I think you should be too" Luka said angrily. He rose quickly from his seat, turned on his heel and left the room. The others looked at each other sheepishly; all feeling that there was some element of truth in Dr Kovac's words.  
  
~*~  
  
The worn out jukebox pumped out some tune that Dave had heard a million times before. The smell of cheap beer and cigarette smoke hung in the air. The lights advertising various brands of beer flashed annoyingly. There was the usual jumble of thirty or so voices, all talking at once. Dave was used to this bar. He'd been here a few times. This was his usual haunt for when he was feeling low, which was more than he let on. Dave turned his glass around in his hands, watching the light brown liquid slosh against the sides. He stared at the chipped bar top. This place really was a depressing place to be, but Dave didn't care, this place matched his current mood. "Well hello there sir" A sultry voice greeted. Dave looked at the owner of the voice who had slid onto the bar stool next to him. A tall blonde woman with, from what Dave could see, a figure to die for. If Dave was in his usual frame of mind, he'd have no problem flirting with this girl. However at the moment her sexy sounding voice annoyed him and the over-powering stench of her cheap perfume seemed to be choking. All Dave wanted was to be left alone. "What's a nice looking guy like you doing in a place like this"? The woman asked, not-so-subtly sliding closer to him. "Look lady, just leave me alone ok"? Dave spat, he didn't really care for manners right now. "Your loss" The woman replied angrily as she stomped off, her outrageously high heels clicking rhythmically as she did so. Dave sighed deeply and got back to nursing his beer.  
  
~*~  
  
Luka didn't really care for this part of Chicago. It seemed pretty run down and although he'd only been walking for a few minutes he'd been offered sex for money twice. This part of the city was depressing, full of sleazy bars and seedy clubs. This was the place to be when you were in need of a cheap route to temporary happiness. Or so he'd heard from Dave. As he walked along, Luka thought about the junior resident. He seemed to becoming progressively closer to his co-worker as time went on. Ever since Dave's emotional outburst on the roof of County, Luka had realised there was certainly more to Dave than first met the eye. Luka felt a small stab of guilt as he thought about what had transpired back at Carter's. He didn't really have much right to preach to the others about how they had treated Dave. After all, Luka himself hadn't always been warm to him. He too had conformed to the idea that Dave was just an arrogant jerk lacking somewhat in medical skills. However, Luka could seek comfort in the fact that he was ready and willing to change those ideas. Luka dodged a drunk who stumbled into his path. This definitely wasn't his ideal place to be right now, but he had a mission. He had to find Dave, he hadn't been at his apartment, and knowing what he knew about Dave, Luka knew he would be in one of these seedy bars. As he trudged along the streets, he stared in the large windows of the bars, searching for his friend. So far, he hadn't had much luck. Luka was beginning to think that Dave had found a new place to go. For a second, Luka even considered going back to County, in the hopes of finding Dave there. Luka sighed, just about ready to give up. He looked through the window of the next bar and let out a small gasp. He could clearly see a figure sat at the bar. The figure had his back to the window, but Luka could clearly make him out to be Dave. Luka smiled to himself as he pushed open the door.  
  
~*~  
  
"You know that you've been nursing that for over an hour" The barman said, sounding annoyed. He was hoping to make some more money out of this guy. "So what"? Dave growled, he certainly wasn't in the mood. He took another sip of the beer and winced slightly at the taste. He wasn't trying to get drunk, he just wanted to ease the pain a little bit. Getting drunk would be irresponsible, especially since he had to go home to Michael and Mrs Hinton. No, he just wanted something to numb his feelings. "May I sit here"? A male voice asked. If Dave had been more alert and in tune with reality, he would've easily recognised the distinctive Croatian accent the owner of the voice possessed. "It's a free country" Dave replied, not taking his eyes off the glass, now smudged with his fingerprints where he had been lazily spinning it round. Luka took a seat next to his colleague. He couldn't help but notice the terrible smell emitting from the room, a mixture of cheap beer and nasty cigarettes. "What's wrong Dave"? He asked directly. As much as he cared for Dave, he wanted to get out of here as soon as he could. Dave turned his head and glanced at Luka, now realising who it was. He gave a little nod and sighed deeply. "Nothing" He answered in a monotone voice.  
  
"I know I don't exactly know you Dave, but give me some credit, I *do* know you better than that" Luka replied.  
  
"That's the thing Luka..you don't know me. No-one at County does" Dave said, sounding a little sad. He couldn't actually believe how much this was getting to him. "I'd like to get to know you Dave" The Croatian attending said gently. Dave let out a little laugh. "What's so funny"? Luka demanded.  
  
"It's the first time I've heard that in a while" Dave admitted.  
  
"Fancy another drink"? Luka asked with a smile.  
  
"Go on then" Dave replied, returning the smile. He had always silently regretted his outburst on the roof that time. It wasn't him at all to just spill his guts like that, but the closer he and Luka were becoming, and the more they got to know each other, the less Dave was regretting his actions. As he watched his co-worker order the drinks, he allowed himself to let out a genuine smile, maybe he had finally found a friend at County.  
  
END OF CHAPTER THREE 


	4. Back to the grind

Notes:  
  
Ok, there's not really much more to say about this, there's nothing graphic coming up in the near future so I say enjoy part four! Oh yeah.the lyrics that Dave sings belong to Rage against the machine not me, I remember in an episode of ER he mentions he has tickets to RATM so I figured it'd work! And if you want to download the song it's called 'Settle for nothing'.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Don't own ER or Dave.*boo hoo*  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
Chapter Four: Back to the grind  
  
Dave nodded his head in time to the music as he wrote up a chart. He'd managed to sneak in his personal CD player. He had also managed to hide it in the over-sized pocket of his scrub pants. Dave smiled smugly, at least he had his tunes to pass the time, and the best part was that Weaver had no idea. "If ignorance is bliss then knock the smile off my face, yeah"! Dave sung aloud. He didn't have a particularly bad singing voice, he could at least hold a note. "Dr Malucci, since you seem to be in such a good mood, you can assist Dr Kovac and I on an incoming trauma" Kerry Weaver spat at the junior resident. Dave continued to listen to the song, unaware that his boss had just spoken to him. Kerry noticed the wire coming out of Dave's left ear and gave it a sharp tug. "Ouch"! Dave yelped as his music was cut off by a painful yank.  
  
"Dr Malucci, I suggest if you value your job you put this back in your locker and assist Dr Kovac and I on this incoming trauma" Kerry ordered waving the earphone at Dave.  
  
"You got it Chief"! Dave said, a little sheepishly. He dashed into the lounge to safely deposit his CD player and by the time he emerged the trauma had already arrived. He pulled on his gloves and gown and raced into Trauma Two. "We've got a twenty-nine year old woman, flatline" Luka informed Dave as he entered the trauma room.  
  
"How long has she been down"? Kerry asked the paramedic.  
  
"We don't know, her boyfriend found her on the bathroom floor" The paramedic replied. "We gave her two rounds of eppy and two rounds of atrophine" "Any signs of life"? Dave asked.  
  
"We got her back twice, but we lost her again"  
  
"Dr Malucci, get her on a monitor" Kerry ordered. Dave nodded and set about doing his given task. "Any sign of drugs? Possible suicide attempt"?  
  
"Her boyfriend said that she told him she had a headache, he thought she was just avoiding sex, she went for a nap and just never woke up, so he called us" The paramedic explained.  
  
"It sounds like a suberacnoid haemorrhage to me" Luka replied.  
  
"The monitor's up chief, but no readable pulse" Dave said.  
  
"Asystole" Luka added.  
  
"No spontaneous respiration and no response to pain" Dave continued, looking at Kerry.  
  
"Pupils fixed and dilated" Luka said as he checked the patients eyes.  
  
"Then let's try and get her back" Kerry ordered. "a high dose appy, pulse ox and a CO2 detector"  
  
~*~  
  
Abby had been watching the young man for a few minutes now. He was pacing around Chairs, obviously very agitated. He was constantly running his hands through his sandy blonde hair and he kept tutting and sighing. Abby decided to see what this guy was about. She approached him slowly and cautiously. "Uh.Sir"? she asked timidly. "Can I help you"?  
  
"Yeah, I want to know how my girlfriend is and what the hell they're doing to her"! The young man replied angrily. He'd stopped pacing but was now stood a little too close to Abby for comfort. "The doctors will be doing the best they can, why don't you sit down and I'll have someone bring you a nice hot drink"? Abby suggested gently. She was used to relatives and friends of patients acting this way, she'd dealt with it a million times before. "I don't *want* a nice hot drink, I want to see my girlfriend"! The young man yelled directly in Abby's face, causing Carter to look up from the charts he was working on at the admit desk. "Sir if you would just calm down" Abby said, trying to remain calm.  
  
"No I won't calm down! Let me see my girlfriend dammit"! The young man shouted, pushing past Abby and heading in the direction of the trauma room.  
  
"Sir..sir..that's not a good idea right now" Abby replied, placing her hand on the young man's arm in an effort to restrain him.  
  
"I didn't ask you bitch"! He yelled and slapped Abby hard across the face. Carter, who had witnessed the scene unfolding ran over to his friend.  
  
"Malik! Get security"! Carter ordered as he approached Abby. "Are you ok"? He asked, a concerned look distorting his features. "I'm fine." Abby said quietly. She watched as two security guards grabbed the man by his shoulders and began to 'escort' him out of the ER.  
  
~*~  
  
"How long have you been doing compressions for Dr Malucci"? Kerry asked.  
  
"11 minutes" Luka replied on Dave's behalf.  
  
"Check her rhythm" Kerry ordered.  
  
"Still no pulse" Luka answered sadly. "Asystole" "Continue Dr Malucci" Kerry asked Dave, who was beginning to slow down. "10 of appy on board, apply another, 7 milligrams"  
  
"Ok" Luka replied.  
  
~*~  
  
"Thank you" Abby said gratefully as Carter handed her the steaming hot cup of coffee. The pair had retired to the lounge so that Abby could relax a while after the assault. "Are you going to charge him with anything? He basically assaulted you" Carter asked, taking a seat next to the nurse.  
  
"No, it's all over now, besides that sort of thing comes with the territory" Abby replied, taking a sip of her drink.  
  
"Let me check that out" Carter ordered, indicating the vicious looking red mark on Abby's cheek.  
  
"It's ok Carter, it just stings a little" Abby said adamantly.  
  
"C'mon, I just want to make sure" Carter urged. Abby sighed and rolled her eyes a little, exasperated.  
  
"Ok, if it'll make you happy" She said with a small smile. Carter nodded and leaned over the table, gently touching the red mark. Although there was no obvious damage except for bruising, Carter still enjoyed the feel of Abby's skin. It was smooth and soft...what was that old cliché? Carter thought as he gently caressed her cheek.like silk. He looked into Abby's eye, sparkling orbs of melted chocolate, he leaned in..this was going to be so good.. "Carter"? Abby asked. Carter blinked, coming back into reality.  
  
"Sorry, everything seems to be fine" Carter replied hastily, trying hard not to blush. He couldn't believe how close he'd just been to kissing his friend. It was something he'd always wanted to do, but did she want the same? Carter realised that was something he'd have to wait for to find out.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hold the compressions Dr Malucci, do we have any sign of rhythm Dr Kovac"? Kerry asked, she was beginning to give up on the patient.  
  
"Flatline" Luka replied sadly.  
  
"I'll call it" Kerry said. "Time of death, 11:51" Kerry limped out, pausing only to throw her gloves and gown in the bin on the way. "I hate losing patients" Dave said sadly, hoping to break the silence between the two men.  
  
"Yes, it never gets any easier" Luka agreed. "We did all we could though"  
  
Dave nodded and bit his lip for a second before asking. "Did you mean what you said"?  
  
"Excuse me"? Luka gave Dave a strange look.  
  
"Last night, in the bar, about getting to know me" Dave explained.  
  
"Of course I did" Luka replied, smiling at his co-worker to show he meant it. Dave and Luka left the trauma room, allowing the nurses to take care of the body. "Thanks" Dave said, sounding genuinely pleased. "and I don't just mean for last night, for that time on the roof too..I really needed someone then and you were there".  
  
"No problem Dave, I was happy to help" Luka said as he pulled off his gloves and gown. Dave nodded and shuffled with his feet a bit. He swallowed hard. Why was he so nervous? Dave usually prided himself on being the epitome of cool. "Hey..y'know if you wanted, maybe one night you could come to mine....and maybe we could have a takeaway" Dave asked.  
  
"I'd love to" Luka answered happily.  
  
"Dr Malucci may I remind you that you have patients to see"? Kerry interrupted in a harsh tone as she limped by.  
  
"I'm on it Chief" Dave replied. He dug around in his pocket and pulled out a pen. He took Luka's hand and proceeded to write his address on it. "Here's my address, tomorrow night alright for you"?  
  
"Tomorrow night it is, well, I better go and see some patients, I don't want Kerry on my back too" Luka nodded at Dave and went in the direction of the admit desk. Dave watched Luka go and allowed his famous smile to alight his lips. Dave could hardly believe his luck, he'd made a genuine friend here at County!  
  
~*~  
  
Abby was sorting through some charts when Dave came up to the admit desk. "Hey Dave, how are you today"? She asked kindly.  
  
"Yeah, any good patients"? Carter added, looking up from the computer. Dave smiled. "Ah..I see Luka laid the old guilt trip on you then" He said, smirking. Abby and Carter just smiled back at Dave, both looking somewhat sheepish. "Don't worry about it, you guys weren't on my Christmas card list anyway" He joked as he grabbed his next chart and went in the direction of exam one.  
  
~*~  
  
Dave yawned as he sipped his cup of freshly made hot chocolate and flicked through the latest copy of Rolling Stone. He'd had to deal with another couple of traumas as well as a very difficult kid in Exam one. Dave took a minute to rub the up and coming bruise on his shin, that kid certainly had some power in those kicks. Dave let the magazine slid off his knee as he leant back on the sofa. He raised the cup to his lips and inhaled the glorious, rich aroma of the hot chocolate, a scent he had always found comforting. Dave was seconds away from dropping off to sleep when Kerry Weaver barged through the door. Dave quickly opened his eyes and stood up, ready to get back to work. He'd already been in trouble twice today and he didn't want to jeopardise his job any further by sleeping when he should be working. "Stay there Dr Malucci, I want to have a quick word with you" Kerry ordered, taking a seat at the table. Dave remained on the sofa. "I've decided that for now, it would be best for you to not handle any more abuse cases brought in to this ER"  
  
"What"? Dave asked, disbelieving.  
  
"From the way you react to such cases I feel that it's in the best interests of both your self, the patients and this ER if you no longer deal with them. Should a case be given to you which presents itself as an abuse case, then you will hand it over to another doctor. I will review this in one month from now but I am confidence I have made the fair and correct decision" Kerry explained.  
  
"I understand" Dave said quietly. Normally he would've blown up at Festus but he couldn't afford to lose his job, he had Michael to think about. "I have also called Dr Legaspi" Kerry added.  
  
"Woah Chief..now I might be the Love expert, but I'm not exactly clued up on the lesbian scene" Dave joked.  
  
"I booked an appointment for you to see her tomorrow morning before your shift begins" Kerry replied, not even smiling slightly at Dave's joke. Instead, her expression remained as stony-faced as ever. "Why"? Dave stuttered out.  
  
"From what I have seen from your attitude to abuse cases I believe it will do you some good" Kerry answered.  
  
"It's none of your business"! Dave yelled, rising from the sofa.  
  
"As you are a member of staff at this hospital Dr Malucci I must remind you that any behaviour that affects your work is my business" Dave glared at Kerry, stalked towards the door and walked out, slamming the door behind him. Kerry took off her glasses and rubbed her temples, sighing deeply. 


	5. Meeting Michael

Notes:  
  
Hi folks! Here's the fifth part all done for you! Nothing to warn you about here, unless a bit of fluff isn't your thing!  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Flick back 4 chapters...you'll get the idea!  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
Chapter Five- Meeting Michael  
  
Dave brushed the magazines under the sofa. It wasn't the most ideal of storage places, but Luka was due any minute and Dave wanted his apartment to be nice and clean for his co-worker. After a good few squirts of cheap room freshener, Dave finally got rid of the lingering smell of his rather bad cooking. Dave re-arranged the cushions on the somewhat shabby black sofa, not that it really made any difference as each cushion was a different colour from the last. Dave rested his hands on his hips and surveyed the apartment in front of him. It wasn't a particularly large place by any means, it was just enough for himself and Michael. He only hoped that Luka would find it inviting enough. "Daddy"? A tiny voice asked. Dave turned around to see his son stood in the doorway of his bedroom, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Dave immediately forgot about cleaning and picked up his young son. "What's wrong Mikey? Did you have another bad dream"? Dave asked, concerned.  
  
"No Daddy..I just can't sleep" The little boy replied quietly. Dave couldn't help but smile as Michael started sucking his thumb. It was plainly obvious that the kid was exhausted but since Dave had mentioned he would be having company, Michael was trying to stay awake to see who it was. "Well how about I make you some nice hot chocolate"? Dave offered.  
  
"Yeah"! Michael agreed excitedly. Dave smiled again and carried his son towards the small kitchen. The doorbell rung and Michael squirmed in Dave's arms, eventually Dave had to relinquish his grip on the child, who ran off to get the door.  
  
Luka stood outside the door, waiting for someone to answer. For some reason he felt strangely nervous. He'd never been to Dave's place before, so it was a totally new experience for the mild-mannered Croatian. He was about to ring the bell when a little boy of about four answered. "Hello there" Luka greeted, in a friendly voice. The older man's eyes however, showed a small twinge of hurt in them. This little boy reminded him so much of Marco, his own son who had tragically died back in Croatia. Upon taking another look at the boy, it was like looking at a scaled down version of Dave. The child had Dave's brown hair and his beautiful, dark eyes. As the little boy smiled up at Luka, Luka noted that he also possessed Dave's cheeky smile. There was no denying that this boy was indeed Dave's son. "Hey Luka" another voice greeted. Luka blinked, surely that mature-sounding voice had not come from that little boy. Luka looked back and saw Dave stood at the door, the little boy was now clinging to Dave's leg, with a shy look on his face. "Come in" Dave invited, opening the door wider to allow Luka access.  
  
"Who are you"? The young boy asked as Luka took a seat on the sofa. He couldn't help but notice that none of the cushions matched the colour of the sofa or each other. "C'mon Mikey, it's time to go to bed, I've made you your drink now" Dave said, almost pleadingly. "I'm too excited Daddy"! Michael replied, jumping up and down. Any previous tiredness the child had was now gone. Dave sighed a bit. "Luka this is my son, Michael"  
  
"Hi I'm Michael and I'm four but I'm nearly five soon. My Daddy's a doctor and he's really good at making hot chocolate! He puts the marshmallows in and it tastes really good! Maybe he'll make you some"! Michael babbled, sitting next to Luka.  
  
"Sorry about this, he's a little...pumped. He likes having company dontcha Mikey"? Dave asked the child with a smile.  
  
"How do you know Daddy"? Michael said. looking up at Luka.  
  
"Your Daddy and I work together" Luka explained. "I'm a doctor too"  
  
"Wow! Cool"! Michael explained. "Do you think my daddy is good-looking? He says he's a.a.ladies man"  
  
"Michael"! Dave scolded, giving his son a withering look. Why was it that kids always had a knack of saying the wrong things? "It's ok" Luka laughed. "Yes Michael, I think your daddy is good-looking, he's very nice"  
  
"Maybe Daddy thinks you're hot" Michael suggested. Luka smiled again, yep, there definitely was no denying this was Dave's son.  
  
"Michael"! Dave scolded again, feeling his cheeks turn pink.  
  
"What Daddy? I didn't say damn" Michael replied innocently. Dave slapped his hand to his forehead as Luka laughed. "Would you like a drink Luka"? Dave offered.  
  
"Yes please" Luka answered happily. He was starting to enjoy himself.  
  
"Coffee alright"? Dave asked.  
  
"That's fine" Dave nodded and set about making the coffee in the small kitchen area of the apartment. "It's a nice place you have here" Luka complimented, having a look around. "Very clean"  
  
"You should've seen it half an hour ago"! Dave joked.  
  
A couple of minutes later, Dave returned to the sofa with two mugs of steaming coffee, again, neither mug matched each other, but Dave had selected the least chipped of his mug collection. "Um Dave." Luka whispered, pointing down at his own lap. Dave looked to see Michael curled up on the sofa, fast asleep with his head resting on Luka's lap. "Oh sorry" Dave whispered an apology as he picked Michael up gently.  
  
"Don't worry about it" Dave carried Michael into his bedroom and placed him gently on the bed. Michael stirred a little as Dave pulled the covers over him, but luckily, remained asleep. "Love you lots" Dave whispered as he kissed his sleeping son's forehead. Taking one look back at his son, Dave carefully closed the door.  
  
"He's a good kid" Luka commented as Dave sat down next to him.  
  
"Yeah, I love him to bits" Dave admitted. Luka smiled and couldn't help but notice how Dave's features seemed to soften so much when he talked about his love for his son. "If you don't mind me asking, what happened to his mother"? Luka asked.  
  
"She left" Dave said simply. Luka nodded, it was obvious that Dave didn't really want to expand on the reason why Michael's mother had left and Luka decided it wasn't really his place to question further. "You really care for Michael don't you"?  
  
"Of course, he's the best thing that ever happened to me. People don't expect me to be like this though, just think if the rest of the staff knew about this, their faces would be a picture" Dave replied.  
  
"I think it's just because of the attitude you put across" Luka said honestly.  
  
"Yeah, I know" Dave admitted.  
  
"Why don't you do anything to change their minds about you? Surely you don't like them seeing you that way.you know, as an irresponsible type of guy" Luka asked.  
  
"They've already made up their own minds about me and it's not really up to me to change them, they can keep their own snap judgements"  
  
"It's a shame you don't let them see this side of you, it's a really great side to see"  
  
"I'm happy enough with having the love of Michael and having my job, I don't need the approval of the others to feel good about myself" Dave replied, sipping his cup of coffee. He couldn't look his co-worker in the eyes, since Luka seemed to be quite perceptive, he would probably be able to tell that Dave was lying. Sure, he was more than happy with Michael and his job, but sometimes he just wished he had someone who understood him, a kindred spirit. "Well you definitely deserve all the happiness you can get" Luka said, breaking Dave's train of thought.  
  
"I'm not the only one, you deserve it too" Dave answered, remembering the little insight he'd had into Luka's past that time on the roof of County.  
  
"I've managed to find my happiness here in Chicago" Luka said, knowing this wasn't strictly true. Dave nodded in reply and Luka noticed that he seemed to look rather sad. "What's wrong"?  
  
"Do you ever feel...lonely"? Dave asked quietly, gripped the mug tightly.  
  
"Sometimes but since Abby has been staying with me I haven't been feeling it as much"  
  
"It must be nice to have someone like that, who's there for you and knows you" Dave muttered sadly.  
  
"You should know"  
  
"What"?  
  
"Well, you have me. I mean, I know we haven't always been the best of friends, but the more I'm getting to know you, the more I like you. We're friends Dave" Luka replied.  
  
"Really? You mean that"? Dave asked, his eyes lighting up with an almost childish innocence and excitement. "Of course I do"  
  
"Thanks" Dave smiled, today wasn't so bad after all. Sure he'd had a bit of a run in with Weaver, but it was nothing he couldn't handle, and now, now, finally, he had someone he could call friend.  
  
~*~  
  
Abby whistled to herself as she collected a set of scrubs from the storage room. Her shift seemed to be going pretty swiftly and she hadn't had too much trouble. Her face was still slightly achy from the assault, but she was dealing with it. The major thing that was playing on her mind was what had happened in the lounge with Carter. He'd almost kissed her and what had she done? She'd backed away. Abby silently cursed her own stupidity. There had been some attraction between her and Carter for a while now, and she'd blown the perfect opportunity to get the guy she wanted. Abby could only hope that Carter wouldn't lose interest...it was just that damn chain of events in the lounge had been so unexpected. Abby knew her feelings for Carter, but since he'd recently been seen with Rena, she wasn't sure just how much Carter had reciprocated those feelings. Not until that moment in the lounge, however, she'd been so shocked and surprised, she didn't have time to fully take in what was actually happening, so she broke away. The door opened, causing Abby to jump slightly. She turned around and saw Carter, the very guy she'd just been thinking about, stood in the closet with her covered in vomit. Abby smirked a bit. "Been treating drunks again"? She asked with a giggle. Carter pulled off his scrub top exposing a toned torso, however, Abby didn't have time to savour this sight as a blur of green came flying towards her face, Carter had thrown that gross scrub top at her! "Carter"! She squealed. Carter laughed and she punched him playfully on the arm. "That was so not funny"! She mock scolded. Carter simply pushed her back. Abby grinned and pushed him back, a little harder than she intended, Carter reeled back and fell into the shelves, knocking off a few sets of scrubs as he did so. "Oops" Abby laughed.  
  
"Oops! Is that all you can say Miss Lockhart? Oops"! Carter replied with mock anger. "We better get these picked up before Weaver sees the mess you made"  
  
"I made"? Abby challenged. Never the less, she bent down next to Carter and helped him pick up the disturbed scrubs. She looked up at Carter, who looked back with a somewhat intense stare. "How funny would it be if Dave walked in now? We could make a fortune"! She joked.  
  
"I don't need a fortune" Carter replied with a playful smile. Abby smiled back at Carter, but it wasn't a goofy smile.it was one of her genuine smiles. The type she only used for flirting. With no warning whatsoever, Carter leaned in and began to kiss Abby. She felt shivers all down her spine as she kissed back, this was unbelievable, the kiss was everything she imagined it to be and Carter was so good..until Carter pulled away. "Are we doing the right thing"? He asked seriously. Abby pulled him back.  
  
"Carter, just shut up and kiss me"  
  
~*~  
  
Dave threw down his fork, the Indian take-away he and Luka had shared had to be one of the best meals he'd had for ages, not just for the quality of the food, but for the company too. Dave wondered why he'd been so nervous asking Luka round, they'd been having such a great time. "I'm starting to get used to these American take-aways" Luka commented, licking his lips, wanting to savour every last bit of the spicy sauce.  
  
"Do you miss Croatia"? Dave asked, a serious look on his face. Luka nodded a little. "Croatia is a beautiful country.but to be honest, I prefer Chicago" Luka admitted.  
  
"Why? It wasn't where you were brought up or anything"  
  
"I know, there's just less painful memories for me here in America" Luka replied, a slight sad tone to his voice. He looked straight ahead, trying not to think too much about his departed family. He glanced at Dave who was also staring ahead, looking guilty for having asked the question that appear to upset his co-worker. "And barbeque" Luka added.  
  
"Huh"? Dave turned and looked at the Croatian attending.  
  
"Well you just can't find good ribs in Croatia" Luka joked. Dave smiled. Luka caught sight of the clock that stood on top of Dave's television, with all the fun he'd had, he hadn't realised how late it had gotten. "I'm really sorry Dave, but I better be on my way, I'm on early tomorrow"  
  
"That's alright" Dave led Luka to the door and saw him out, before leaving, Luka turned to Dave. "Thanks for a good night" He said with a smile.  
  
"No problem, it was great"  
  
"It would be great to do it again sometime, maybe at my place" Luka suggested. He was liking the idea of out-of-work socialisation with Dave more and more. "I'd love to" Dave replied happily, watching his co-worker leave. Dave smiled as he thought of the growing relationship between him and the Croatian attending. It was the greatest feeling in the world to know you had a friend, someone who cared for you, someone who accepted you for whoever you are. As Dave checked on Michael and took himself to bed, he knew that having a friend, someone who knew about his past, wasn't so bad after all.  
  
End of part five 


	6. I'm with you

Notes: There's nothing much to say here except for the fact that this chapter focuses more on the growing relationship between Carter and Abby. Don't worry Dave fans! This *is* still a Dave fic, I'm just devoting this chapter to the secondary plotline, there's plenty more Dave to come!  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own ER.it's very sad!  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
Chapter Six- I'm with you  
  
Abby looked around the dreary setting of Doc Magoo's the local take-away for the doctors of Cook County. She noticed that no matter what time you came in here, there was a pungent smell of fried food. If she'd had her mind on less important things, the smell would've probably turned her stomach, but she didn't have the time to think about it. She stared across the small table at the figure sat opposite her. John Carter seemed more interested in stabbing at his pancakes than talking to the nurse. Abby sighed deeply, causing Carter to look up from his plate. "These things taste like cardboard, I don't know why I bother" He said absently, hating the silence. "Carter, when are we actually going to talk about it"? Abby's dark brown eyes fixed Carter with an intense stare. Carter looked away briefly. "Talk about what"?  
  
"The kiss Carter" Abby replied shortly, slightly annoyed. Carter looked away again, an embarrassed look crossing his otherwise gentle features. "I'm sorry about that" He muttered, his gaze reverting back to the pancakes. He'd never found maple syrup so interesting in his life. "Carter, people normally apoligise when they've made a mistake, are you saying what happened between us was a mistake"? Abby asked. Carter didn't answer, he knew deep down that kissing Abby wasn't a mistake, it was something he'd really wanted. The only thing jading these feelings, were his feelings of guilt. After she'd pulled away from the first kiss, had he made her feel pressurised to kiss him again? And was the second kiss just her guilt for making him feel bad about the first one? Carter's head was muddled with all these thoughts as he stared down at the smooth, china plate in front of him. "You know what? You silence says it all" Abby said angrily. With that, the young nurse stood up and without a backwards look, left the café. All Carter could do was sigh and watch her go.  
  
~*~  
  
"You seriously don't know who the Chicago Bulls are? Man Luka, you have a lot to learn" Dave stated as he made himself a cup of coffee. The two doctors had been spending their break in the lounge, favouring it more than Doc Magoo's. "I'm not really into sports Dave" Luka admitted, flicking through a car magazine. He stopped at a picture of a Viper, attracted by the car's sleek bodywork. He was torn away however, when the door burst open and Abby stormed in with a face like thunder. She charged over to the coffee pot and poured herself the cup. Both Dave and Luka jumped as she slammed the pot back down on the side. "What's wrong"? Luka asked, almost nervously. He was never sure how to handle an angry woman. "Oh nothing, just John Carter being a jerk as usual" Abby muttered. She put the cup to her lips and drunk heavily, almost as if the contents of the cup were alcohol. Luka stole this moment and motioned for Dave to leave, Dave nodded knowing well enough to avoid Abby in a bad mood. He slipped out of the lounge, quietly closing the door behind him. "Come sit down" Luka suggested, patting the seat beside him. Abby sighed and took up his offer. "So what's wrong"? Luka asked.  
  
"Carter and I, we shared a kiss the other day in the storage closet" Abby admitted. She didn't look her friend in the eye. Luka frowned, anger immediately coming over him. "Did he force himself on you"? He demanded.  
  
"No, no, of course not, it was completely mutual. It's just ever since it happened, Carter's been acting really strange" Abby replied.  
  
"Strange how"?  
  
"Well, we did nearly kiss before, right after that patient's boyfriend hit me. I broke it off though" Luka nodded, allowing Abby to continue. "And I was wondering if acting strange is how Carter is trying to punish me for breaking the other kiss" Abby continued.  
  
"I don't think he is, he's probably feeling guilty if anything from the way you reacted to the second kiss, he might feel like he pressurised you into kissing him and the second kiss was you trying to make up for the fact you didn't respond to his first advances, he probably feels like he pushed you into it" Luka explained gently. "I suppose that's possible" Abby replied. She looked up at the older man and smiled, sometimes he could really read her. "Is it hard being so right all the time"? She asked with a smirk.  
  
"It's a burden but I bear it" Luka joked. Abby laughed and pulled her friend close, Luka responded and the pair shared a hug.  
  
~*~  
  
Peter Benton grumbled to himself as he opened the door of Doc Magoo's. He hated the place with a passion, it was a dumping ground for second rate food and third rate service. However, despite his misgivings about the place, this was where Carter had wanted to meet him. Benton recalled receiving the phone call from a rather distressed Carter, it had involved him having to step out of surgery, much to Robert Romano's delight. Benton didn't really care about Romano now though, Carter was obviously having some sort of problem. Benton never was a man of many words or emotions but he couldn't help but have a soft spot for the younger man. He'd been with Carter through a lot during the years they worked together and he knew that Carter was a good friend to have. He gruffly ordered a coffee and located the table where Carter was sitting. The young doctor looked depressed as he was stirring his own cup of coffee over and over, a somewhat distracted look on his face. Benton made his way over to the table and took a seat opposite his younger colleague. "Hi Peter" Carter mumbled gloomily. Benton noted that Carter didn't meet his eyes or even glance in the surgeon's direction. "Tough shift"? Benton offered.  
  
"Tough life" Benton sighed deeply. This was going to take a little more than talking about how much of a bitch Kerry Weaver could be. "What's wrong Carter"? He asked.  
  
"Abby" Benton rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. Great, he thought. Carter has a problem with a woman, the one thing that Benton had a problem with too. "What about her"? He questioned almost nervously.  
  
"I think I've blown my chances with her" Carter replied glumly. The younger doctor continued to stir his coffee, much to the annoyance of Benton. "She got hit by some patient's jerk of a boyfriend a while ago. I took her to the lounge to calm her down and see if there was any damage. I was checking out her face when I just got this urge to kiss her, I've felt feelings for her before, but it was such a strong urge, I could barely fight it. She seemed to be radiating the same thing so I went in for a kiss and she didn't respond. It was pretty uncomfortable for me, I was really embarrassed. That's not the worst part though. The other day we were messing around in the storage closet, having a laugh and we knocked all these sets of scrubs off the shelves. We both bend down to pick them up and it was like there was some kind of electricity. I felt that urge again and before I knew what I was doing, I was kissing her and she was kissing back. Then I stopped because I realised what I was doing, it was wrong of me. I mean, she never wanted the first kiss...but then after I stopped she just says Carter kiss me, so we do. The thing is I feel like I forced her into it. Like made her feel like she had to kiss me so as not to hurt my feelings, and then when she wanted to talk about it I didn't know what to say...it's all just one big mess" Carter explained. Benton, who had been listening intently, nodded and looked Carter directly in the eyes.  
  
"Do you love her"? He asked a serious tone to his voice. Carter didn't look up from his cup as he continued to swirl the liquid round. Benton leaned forward and snatched the cup away, forcing Carter to look at him. "Well do you"? he pressed.  
  
"Of course, I loved her the first time I saw her" Carter replied.  
  
"Look Carter, I don't know much about women, just look at what happened to me and Carla. What I have learnt though, is that with women, you have to go the extra mile" Benton explained.  
  
"What do you mean by that"? Carter asked. He stared up at his old friend.  
  
"Well let's take your career as an example. When you first came to County you were inexperienced and you made mistakes, but you kept at it and you worked hard, and now you've got where you wanted to be" Benton replied.  
  
"Sure Peter, but what's that got to do with Abby"? Carter questioned, confused.  
  
"Well let's just put it this way man. You make as much effort with Abby as you do with your career you shouldn't have anymore problems" Carter nodded. He had to admit, his old friend was making sense. All he needed to do was put a little more effort into his relationship with Abby. "Thanks Peter" Carter replied with a grin.  
  
"No problem man. I'm sorry but I'll have to get right off. Romano has a rod up his ass about some appendectomy patient" Benton rose from his seat, and with a nod to Carter, left the small café. Carter watched his old friend go, as he did so, an idea began to form in his mind. He knew exactly how to make Abby feel wanted. Carter smiled a self-satisfied smile.  
  
~*~  
  
"So what happened with Mr Watson and the inflatable doll"? Haleh asked. She, Chuny, Lydia and Abby were discussing the latest antics of a sex- crazed patient. "Oh you don't want to know" Abby replied, smirking to herself.  
  
"I have a delivery for the ER" A voice called out. The nurses turned around to see a delivery man at the desk holding a large bunch of beautiful red roses. Abby signed for the delivery and placed the large arrangement on the admit desk. "Man, all these flowers from my female fans get really tiring" Dave joked as he approached the desk and indicating the flowers.  
  
"You're getting a bit desperate if you're resorting to sending yourself flowers Dave" Abby replied with a grin. Dave simply flashed her a sarcastic smile.  
  
"They're for Abby" Randi commented, indicating the card that had been embedded in the bunch. Abby wheeled round and blinked at Randi, shocked. "What was that about sending flowers to yourself Abby"? Dave grinned. Abby wasn't listening, instead she was intently studying the small white card in her hands. "Who are they from"? Haleh asked. Haleh's voice was merely a muffled mumble as Abby re-read the words on the card. She found herself seeing nothing but a red mist. Ramming the card in her pocket so hard the material almost ripped, Abby stormed off towards the lounge. "What's her problem"? Randi asked with a frown. "PMS"? Dave smirked, picking up his latest chart and heading to the curtain area.  
  
~*~  
  
Luka finished his coffee as he stood in County's ambulance bay. The place always looked gloomy, whatever the weather, however the grey slush on the ground didn't help. Luka looked at the entrance to the bay, there was no sign of his major MVA yet. Shivering slightly, the Croatian attending hugged himself. The doors behind him slid open with that distinctive 'whoosh' noise. Luka turned to see who was about to join him in his waiting game and was pleased to see Dave's smiling face. "Chief told me to assist on the incoming MVA" Dave said cheerily. He loved getting the interesting cases. Particularly since all he'd been doing all day was minor sutures. "There's no-one I'd rather work with" Luka smiled.  
  
"Flattery will get you a beer later" Dave replied with a grin. "What's the ETA on this one"?  
  
"About ten minutes"  
  
"Chilly out here" Dave commented, hopping from one foot to the other in an attempt to get warm. "Yes, it's certainly different to Croatia, Chicago weather took a lot of getting used to" Luka agreed.  
  
"What's Croatia like"? Dave asked. He had always noticed that Luka spoke of the country with such love, which interested Dave. "It's a beautiful country. Very scenic, the most picturesque panoramas I've ever seen. The people are all very friendly too, willing to help you out if you're ever in need of anything. We lived in a fairly small place so it was a very close-knit community. Definitely not like here, everyone shoving and rushing, Croatia is much calmer, much more serene" Luka answered with a wistful look on his face.  
  
"You obviously love Croatia very much" Dave replied.  
  
"Yes, It would be nice to go back there sometime"  
  
"Maybe I could come with you, it'd be great to see the place you talk so passionately about" Dave admitted. He was feeling a distinct bond with his colleague, which was slowly but surely getting stronger and stronger. "That would be nice" Luka smiled. Before Dave could reply, the ambulance came rolling into the bay. Dave and Luka immediately snapped into action. "Well Luka, show-time" Dave commented, pulling on his latex gloves.  
  
~*~  
  
Carter stared up at the stars. He was laying on the ornate wooden garden swing that was situated at the bottom of the huge gardens of the Carter Mansion. Carter would often come here after a hard day at work to relax and be alone with his thoughts. He distinctly remembered frequenting this very spot numerous occasions after the Valentine's Day stabbing where his med student Lucy Knight had been tragically killed. Carter somehow always felt peaceful here and looking up at the stars always managed to calm him down and de-stress him. Carter allowed a smile to play across his lips as he thought of what Peter had said to him earlier. He certainly had made an effort, the only problem was he had no idea how Abby had felt about his effort. He had been kept busy all day and had barely seen the beautiful nurse. Carter would've given anything to see her face light up when she received those beautiful roses. Naturally, they were the best roses he could buy, since Peter had advised him it was worth going the extra mile. "John Truman Carter" An angry sounding voice said, breaking the young doctor's train of thought. Carter sat up on the swing and Abby came into view. The woman looked extremely angry. She had a scowl on her face and her lips had almost disappeared. Carter stared at his friend, confused. "How did you get here"? He asked.  
  
"Gamma let me in" Abby replied shortly. She folded her arms across her chest.  
  
"What did you use to bribe her"? Carter joked, knowing how strict his Grandmother could be on house guests. "I didn't because unlike some, I don't use bribes to get what I want" Abby said angrily. Carter blinked at her, totally lost as to what the nurse was angry about. Abby shot him a dirty look before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small white card. She thrust the offending object into his face. Carter took the card and read it, immediately recognising it as the message he had asked to be delivered alongside the roses.  
  
***Abby,  
Here's a token to show you just how much you mean to me.  
John***  
  
"I can't just be bought Carter" Abby said as Carter still looked confused.  
  
"Wait Abby, the flowers were meant to be intended as a romantic gesture" Carter answered, a little defensively. Was she rejecting his efforts? "I'm sick of your indecision Carter, one minute you're kissing me and the next you're acting like it's the biggest mistake in your life. Now you're buying me flowers"? Abby spat. She stared intensely at Carter, anger radiating from her every pore. "Well you weren't exactly decisive either"! Carter argued. "I distinctly remember you breaking away the first time and then eager to shove your tongue down my throat on the next occasion"!  
  
"Well at least I don't use cheap gestures" Abby replied.  
  
"Hey! Those roses weren't cheap"! Carter said, feeling his own anger rising. Abby merely let out a sarcastic laugh. "That's all it boils down to isn't it Carter? That's all anything ever boils down to with you, money"!  
  
"I don't understand what your problem is Abby. All I wanted to do was send you a nice gesture so you could see how much I care about you and now you're throwing it back in my face"!  
  
"Damn it Carter! It's not the flowers that have made me so angry at you! It's the fact that you don't seem to know what the hell you want"! Abby shouted.  
  
"I want you" Carter said as he stared deeply into Abby's hazel eyes.  
  
"What"? Abby let out a gasp. All the anger on her features melted away and were replaced by shock. "I know what I want Abby! I want you and I've wanted you ever since I first met you in the ER" Carter continued, not breaking the gaze once. His eyes remaining locked onto Abby's. Abby didn't reply, she couldn't, she was far too stunned. After all their indecision, Carter had finally professed his feelings for her. Carter took hold of her hands and pulled her closer. "Look Abby, I was so confused when you broke away from that kiss in the lounge. Then when I tried to kiss you again, you reciprocated, which confused me even more. I had no idea what you really wanted, or whether I'd forced myself on you so you felt like you had to kiss me" Carter explained.  
  
"I wanted it Carter" Abby admitted, returning Carter's intense stare.  
  
"Really"? Carter asked. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Abby nodded. Carter pulled her even closer to his body and Abby smiled, her most beautiful of smiles. Carter looked deep into her eyes, it was now clear. They both wanted this, they both needed this. The moment was so perfect, Carter could hardly believe it was really happening, the starlight reflected into Abby's eyes, making them light up. Carter leaned in, holding the beautiful woman close to him. He parted his lips slightly, and closed his eyes. Abby did the same and before they knew it, they were a couple, sharing their first truly magical kiss.  
  
END OF CHAPTER SIX 


	7. The truth about Dave

Notes:  
  
Ok guys, here's the seventh part of 'Where do we go from here'. I'm shocked at how long this thing is turning out to be, but ride it out, it's drawing to a close. There's one little thing I feel I should warn you about here. Once again, this chapter is back with Luka and Dave as the focus, which means there's going to be some guy on guy action. Nothing graphic, but if you don't like the idea of it, I'd back off now! Thank you! Oh yeah, some more little notes, the poem Dave quotes is called 'An Arundel Tomb' by Philip Larkin, if you want to read the rest of the poem, you can find it in the book 'The Whitsun Weddings'. The song Abby is singing is called 'Drops of Jupiter' by Train. It's a great song, so if you get hold of it I suggest you do! The song sung in the Karaoke bar is 'Build me up buttercup' by the Foundations whom I dedicate to my Abby whom I hope is reading this! Finally the song that's on in Luka's car is 'Somewhere I belong' by Linkin Park.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
I don't own ER or Dave.if I did I'd be the richest and happiest person on earth!  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
Chapter Seven - The truth about Dave  
  
Dave sat on the fire escape, watching people come and go into the busy ER. He sipped his coffee and relaxed back a little bit. He was enjoying his break after a tough couple of hours. Dave saw Mark's basketball out of the corner of his eye and was considering playing with it when Luka stormed out of the ER and threw his chart down with an angry grunt. "Hey, what's wrong"? Dave asked, a concerned look invading his features.  
  
"I just had to pronounce a five year old child, victim of an MVA" Luka replied sadly. "I'm sorry man, it's always harder when it's a child" Dave said comfortingly. He offered the older Croatia a sip of coffee, but Luka politely declined. Instead he rubbed his face, a pained look on his face. "Heads up" Dave commented, breaking Luka's depressing train of thought. Luka turned to Dave who threw the basketball at him. Luka managed to catch it just before it made contact with his face. "Nice catch" Dave said with a smirk.  
  
"I don't really feel like playing now Dave" Luka muttered, throwing the ball back to his colleague. "It's a good stress relief" Dave commented as he bounced the ball between his hands. "Isn't it Mark's"? Luka asked.  
  
"Do you see Baldilocks anywhere"? Luka let out a guilty smirk, he found Dave's name for Mark rather amusing. "Hey, that's more like it" Dave grinned, indicating Luka's smile.  
  
"Thanks Dave, you're just what I needed"  
  
"You just need to relax and kick back a bit" Dave replied.  
  
"Yes, that does sound good" Luka admitted with a nod.  
  
"What you need my man is the Dave Special"! Dave announced with a wide grin. Luka merely raised his eyebrow. "I'm intrigued" He replied.  
  
"The Dave Special my friend is the best take-out food this side of Chicago! coupled with a couple of cool, frosty beers and of course, good company. Satisfaction guaranteed" Dave explained.  
  
"I'd love to" Luka smiled.  
  
"Ok, well I get out of here at nine so come over any time after that"  
  
"I'll be there" Dave grinned and slapped Luka on the back. The two friends headed back towards the ER. Dave tapped Luka on the shoulder. Luka turned around and saw Dave holding the basketball. "No rim" He said simply. Dave threw the ball backwards towards the hoop. Luka watched as the ball bounced off the backboard and landed in a nearby bank of snow. Luka fought back the urge to laugh. Instead he smiled at the sheepish looking Dave. "You need more practise" He said teasingly.  
  
~*~  
  
Carter opened his eyes and stretched. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. Last night had been a great night. Carter smiled to himself as he rolled over and smiled at Abby who was sound asleep next to him in the ornate four poster bed. Carter gently stroked her hair and thought about the amazing night they'd shared together. As Abby opened her eyes, Carter was granted with the beautiful sight of Abby's glorious brown orbs. Abby smiled at him as he stroked her creamy white cheek. Her skin felt so soft as his finger tips brushed against her lips. Abby leant forward and kissed her new lover. Carter returned the kiss, enjoying the moment. It brought back the magical memories of the previous night. As if hearing his thoughts, Abby smiled again and whispered. "Last night was great"  
  
"It was amazing" Carter agreed.  
  
"When are you on"? Abby asked.  
  
"Ten o clock" Carter replied.  
  
"Then we have a whole hour" Abby smirked cheekily. Carter grinned and started to kiss her again, his hand beginning to run across her thigh.  
  
~*~  
  
Dave handed Luka the cool bottle of beer. Luka thanked Dave and pressed the bottle to his fore-head, the condensation on the bottle was refreshing and awakening at the same time. "Feeling better"? Dave asked.  
  
"Yeah" Luka nodded a bit, removing the cool glass from his forehead and taking a sip. "Losing a patient is always hard, especially with kids" Dave said quietly. Luka nodded and took another sip of beer. "It's even harder when you have one yourself, just wait until you have kids." Dave continued. As soon as the words had come out of his mouth, Dave realised what he'd said. He shut his eyes and silently cursed his own stupidity. "Oh God..I'm so sorry"  
  
"It's ok" Luka replied. Dave rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He didn't really know what to say next after making such a terrible faux pas. "I moved away from Croatia to avoid this" He added.  
  
"Avoid what"?  
  
"The uncomfortable silences, people tiptoeing around me, scared of saying the wrong thing" Luka explained.  
  
"I'm sorry, do you.uh want another beer"? Dave asked.  
  
"I better not, I have work in the morning" Luka replied gently. Dave nodded and grabbed another slice of pizza. Luka scanned the room looking for an interesting talking point. Luka noticed some of Dave's books on his bookshelf. Luka walked over to the shelf and selected a book. He glanced at it and turned back to Dave. "Philip Larkin"? He questioned.  
  
"Yeah, you didn't think I was a poetry fan"? Dave grinned.  
  
"Of course not" Luka replied, flipping through the pages.  
  
"And to prove our almost instinct almost true, what will survive of us is love" Dave quoted. "That's beautiful" Luka said with a smile.  
  
"Yeah, it's one of my favourites in that book" Luka carefully placed the book back and noticed a picture on top of the small bookshelf. It was a picture of Dave and Michael. Michael was sitting on Dave's shoulders and both father and son wore a smile. Luka smiled back at the smiling image of Dave, fatherhood seemed to suit Dave somehow. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but do you miss Michael's mother"? Luka asked. Dave simply shook his head and swigged from his beer bottle. "Why"?  
  
"Because" Dave snapped slamming the beer bottle down on the small coffee table. "I'm sorry Dave, I'll go" Luka apoligized.  
  
"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped like that" Dave said sheepishly.  
  
"It's ok, I'm not leaving because of that, I need to be up early tomorrow for my shift" Luka replied. He nodded to Dave, picked up his coat and left.  
  
Dave sighed deeply and wandered into Michael's room where his son was sound asleep. Dave bent down and kissed him gently on the forehead. "I love you son" He whispered.  
  
~*~  
  
It was a rather uneventful morning for the staff of the ER. Luka was catching up on some charts in between chatting to Abby and Dave who were both at the admit desk. Dave was spinning around on Frank's office chair and Abby was singing to herself as she got on with her work. "Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet? Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day"? Abby sang aloud. Luka looked up from his charts and grinned at his friend. "What made you so happy this morning"? He asked.  
  
"Oh nothing" Abby replied happily.  
  
"She had sex" Dave commented, not looking away from the computer that he was now messing around on. "And how do you know that"? Luka asked with a grin. Dave's only reply was his trademark smirk. Abby was about to seriously rebuke Dave, but before she could, Carter approached the desk and asked to have a word with her. "They had sex" Dave commented as Carter walked away with Abby. Luka laughed, wondering how the hell Dave could know something like that. Dave laughed too, but after a minute, his face turned serious. An expression Luka seldom saw on his friend. "I'm really sorry for snapping last night Luka. I shouldn't have, not at you, it was really rude of me" Dave apoligised.  
  
"It's ok Dave really, I should've known it was a sore subject" Luka replied graciously. "I'm going to make it up to you"! Dave announced, a hint of excitement in his voice. "You don't have to" Luka grinned at the excited expression on Dave's face. It was reminiscent of a child's, very endearing. "Oh I insist! I'm going to take you to my favourite bar"! Dave exclaimed, getting more and more excited by the minute. Luka smirked. "What have I let myself in for"? He asked jokingly. Dave grinned at him.  
  
"You'll see"! He answered as he grabbed a chart and left the desk.  
  
~*~  
  
"Are you sure about this"? Luka asked somewhat nervously as Dave pushed the door of the bar open. The bar seemed to be particularly noisy and rowdy. "Of course I am"! Dave replied. After a tough shift, this place was his favourite place to come and kick back and relax.  
  
"It's a Karaoke bar Dave" Luka stated as they entered the smoky bar. He indicated a small stage in the corner with tacky looking multi coloured lights around it. There was a young man stood on the stage tunelessly slaying a Bon Jovi track. Aside from that, at the other end of the room was a small bar where a short, fat, Italian looking man was serving drinks. There were various chairs and tables dotted around the room with all kinds of people sat at them. They were all smiling and laughing as they all greeted Dave. Luka had to admit this place did look like a really friendly place, and he was sure that he'd get used to the smell of cheap cigars soon enough. The place did have a cosy feel and a nice atmosphere that Luka was slowly starting to warm to. "What do you think"? Dave asked.  
  
"I think I'm going to like it" Luka admitted, smiling. "You come here often"?  
  
"As often as I can" Dave replied. He slapped his hand down on the bar top and the short, fat man came to their end of the bar. "Malucci"! The barman greeted with a smile.  
  
"Hey Sergio, I'll have the usual and the same for my friend here" Dave answered.  
  
"And who is this friend of yours"? Sergio asked. Luka noted the man had a strong Italian accent. "This is Luka, he works in the ER with me" Dave replied. Sergio nodded in Luka's direction and set about getting the drinks. While Dave waited at the bar, Luka scanned the room for a free table. The place seemed pretty busy tonight. When Luka had found a free table, he motioned for Dave to join him. Dave grabbed the drinks and took a seat next to him at the small table. "Sergio has the best beer" Dave commented as he took a sip from his own glass.  
  
"You never said this place was a Karaoke bar"! Luka replied slightly nervous. He didn't really relish the idea of standing up in front of a room full of people and singing. Singing was something Luka usually left for the shower and when no-one else was around. "I thought it'd be a nice surprise. It'll be fun, Sergio gets everyone to have a go sooner or later"  
  
"You mean you've sung"? Luka asked with wide eyes.  
  
"Sure! I have the voice of an angel" Dave grinned. "I can't wait to hear you sing" He added with a cheeky smirk.  
  
"Oh no way" Luka said, shaking his head.  
  
"Oh come on"! Dave pleaded.  
  
"I don't know that many American songs" Luka replied adamantly. It was partly true, he didn't really know that many American songs, except for the ones he'd heard on Dave's personal CD player on occasions. He remembered a couple that Abby had taught him but he wasn't keen on singing them in front of anyone. "You know most of my stuff"! Dave whined. Luka smiled at his friend who, at this moment, sounded just like a small child.  
  
"No Dave" He replied, trying to sound angry, the only problem was his wide grin that gave him away. "We could do a duet"! Dave suggested.  
  
"Do you ever give in"?  
  
"Not until I get what I want"! Dave grinned.  
  
~*~  
  
"I need you, more than anyone baby! You know that I have from the start, so build me up, buttercup, don't break my heart"! The small audience applauded and Luka graciously bowed. He handed the microphone over to the next person and sat back down beside Dave. "I thought you didn't know that many American songs"? Dave said dubiously.  
  
"I lied, Abby taught me some" Luka grinned.  
  
"And what happened to 'no way Dave'"? Dave asked.  
  
"I lied again" Luka laughed. He'd had quite a bit to drink and was feeling rather tipsy. "You have a really good voice" Dave said admiringly. "It's a shame I had to get you drunk to hear it"!  
  
"Hey I am not drunk" Luka slurred.  
  
"Sure" Dave replied sarcastically. "I'll say one thing for you my friend, you're a man who can't hold his drink"!  
  
"What about you at Abby's last birthday party? Drinking Tequila straight from the bottle"! Luka exclaimed.  
  
"A practised art" Dave smiled. He had only had two beers tonight. He didn't really want a hangover in the morning and he knew that since Luka was drunk, he'd have to be the one driving. Luka however, was looking a bit worse for wear. Dave frowned a bit as Luka started to sway in his seat. Maybe it was time to get his friend home. "Aren't you on tomorrow"? He asked the Croatian Attending.  
  
"Shit" Luka muttered with realisation.  
  
"Man, we better get you home and sobered up. Maybe you should stay the night at my place" Dave replied as he rose from his seat. He helped Luka up, who swayed for a bit before slumping against him. Dave sighed a bit, not realising that Luka had been getting this drunk. He began to walk his friend slowly out of the bar. "I think I should drive, where are your keys"? Luka pulled the car keys out of his pocket and handed them to Dave. Dave glanced at Luka's car nervously. That thing looked really expensive and it had been a while since Dave had driven. However, right now, Dave was definitely the safer driver. After aiding Luka to get in the passenger seat, Dave climbed into the driver's seat and used the switch to roll down Luka's window to give his friend some much needed fresh air. "I had fun tonight" Luka said happily, smiling drunkly at Dave.  
  
"Yeah we should do it.." Dave paused as Luka proceeded to vomit out of the opened car window. "again sometime" He added with a smirk.  
  
~*~  
  
Dave opened the door to his apartment and let it swing open as he helped Luka over the step and into the hallway. As Dave let go of Luka to lock the door, Luka stumbled and knocked over a lamp that stood on a table by the door. Luka burst out laughing, finding it the most hilarious thing in the world. "Sssh" Dave scolded. It was getting pretty late and he knew that most people in the apartment block would be asleep. He was silently thankful that he'd arranged for Michael to stay the night at Mrs Hinton's apartment.  
  
Dave guided Luka through the hallway and onto his sofa. As he was helping Luka down, Luka accidently pulled Dave down with him so that Dave was now lying on top of him. "Oops"! Luka laughed. Dave stared intensely at his friend. He could feel something inside him stir up. Luka continued to giggle as Dave stared at him. Dave lean forward a bit more. Part of him knew this was wrong, because he was taking advantage of the fact that Luka was drunk, but on the other hand, Dave had secretly been waiting for an opportunity like this in a long time. Since he didn't know when it would pose itself again, Dave decided to take it. He closed his eyes and began to kiss Luka passionately. It was like lightning in Luka's brain. He was suddenly aware that he was being kissed. He opened his eyes, shocked to see that it was Dave. Luka shoved him off so roughly that Dave fell to the floor. Luka pulled himself off the sofa, grabbed his keys from the coffee table where Dave had dropped them, and walked out. "Luka"! He heard Dave call after him. He didn't answer, all he could think about was getting out of here. He felt dizzy and nauseous but he continued walking. He picked up the pace a little bit and ran out into the street, trying not to fall over. He was slightly aware of the fact that Dave was following him, continuously calling his name. Luka climbed into his car and jammed the keys in the starter, he turned them, the engine started, and in seconds, Luka was off, speeding down the street so fast, his tyres screeched.  
  
~*~  
  
His vision was so blurry and the world seemed to be much more brighter and strange looking than he'd remembered a couple of hours ago. The car was slowly but surely picking up speed as he drove down the quiet streets. He had no idea what he was doing, or even where he was going. He had to get away, he had to get away from Dave. He didn't really know why, he was just listening to instinct. The alcohol had destroyed his logical thought processes, everything he was doing now, he was doing on beer. Luka hit the radio button and some band he didn't realise blasted out. He kept on driving, to nowhere in particular, all the time picking up speed.  
  
"When this began, I had nothing to say and I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me"  
  
Luka stared in out at the road in front of him. It was hard to concentrate, half of him felt the euphoria from the alcohol and the other half felt confusion and anger at what had just taken place.  
  
"I was confused, and I let it all out to find that I'm not the only person with these things in mind"  
  
The radio seemed to be getter louder, the music didn't make sense to him, but still he drove. The car was still gaining speed, but he didn't care, he just wanted to get away.  
  
"Inside of me, but all the vacancy the words revealed, is the only real thing I've got left to feel"  
  
The man walking down the street could see the Viper speeding down the street. "Crazy drunk driver" he muttered to himself as the car seemed to weave along the road, all the time gathering speed.  
  
"Nothing to lose, just stuck hollow and alone and the fault is my own, and the fault is my own"  
  
He was so out of his mind that he didn't see the elderly lady shuffling across the road. As Luka looked up, he saw her, just in time. He swerved, trying his hardest in his current state to regain control of the vehicle that was now spinning out of control. Suddenly the car came to a halt, there was a loud bang, followed by the sound of smashing glass. A metal lamppost suddenly thrust itself towards his face. The last thing Luka heard before slipping into the enveloping black was the words that echoed from the radio.  
  
"I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real, I wanna let go of the pain I felt so long"  
  
END OF CHAPTER SEVEN 


	8. Rescue me

Notes:  
  
Next chapter! I won't keep you in suspense much longer by making you read this, so here's the next part! Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: Still don't own ER or Dave!! I'm so gutted!  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
Chapter Eight - Rescue me  
  
"Doctor Weaver, there's an incoming MVA" Jerry called from the admit desk as Kerry Weaver hobbled past. Her shift so far had been a tough one and endless round of traumas and difficult patients so this was the last thing she wanted to hear. "ETA"? She asked wearily.  
  
"Any time now" Jerry replied.  
  
"Abby, Carter, prep Trauma two, Frank, get Malucci on the phone and tell him to come in, we're going to need him" Kerry ordered. As the others busied themselves preparing for the trauma, Kerry limped out to the ambulance bay, preparing herself for the tough job she faced. She stood just outside the ER doors, waiting for the rig to show up with whichever poor soul was suffering inside it. A couple of minutes later, Carter joined her. He was ready for the incoming trauma, already wearing his gloves and gown. He approached Dr Weaver somewhat cautiously, seeing the stress on his boss' face. "Do we have any other information"? He asked.  
  
"No, just an MVA" Kerry replied shortly. All she wanted to do right now was sink into a warm bath with a nice glass of wine. However, that dream looked like it would remain a dream for a long while yet. "Here we go" Carter announced as the rig pulled up. Just as the back doors of the ambulance burst open, Dave pulled up on his bike. He threw down the bike and raced straight to the ambulance. "What have we got"? He asked the paramedic who was exiting with her colleague and the gurney. "Approximately thirty year old white male, victim of an MVA, he was unconscious on the scene" She replied.  
  
"Oh my God, this guy is losing a hell of a lot of blood" Carter gasped.  
  
"Was there a name"? Dave asked the paramedic desperately. After seeing Luka drive off like that, he feared the worst. "No, we didn't find any identification on him"  
  
"Malucci! We need you to start chest compressions; we're going to lose him"! Kerry ordered. Dave nodded and leapt up on the gurney. Straddling the patient, he began pumping his chest. He stared at the face of the victim and let out a horrified gasp. For a split second, the world came to a crashing halt, Dave stared at the patient a shocked look on his face. "What's wrong? Why have you stopped"? Carter demanded.  
  
"Keep going Malucci"! Kerry shouted as they wheeled the gurney towards the doors of Trauma two. "It's Luka" Dave whispered.  
  
~*~  
  
"He's losing a hell of a lot of blood here; he's in danger of becoming hypohemic"! Carter called as they raced Luka into Trauma Two.  
  
"Then get hang some type and cross match on the rapid infuser"! Kerry ordered. "Malucci! Intubate"!  
  
Dave leapt off the gurney and grabbed an intubation kit from Haleh. As he stood over Luka, all he could think about what the fact that all of this was his fault. If he hadn't gotten Luka drunk and if he hadn't have kissed him, none of this would be happening now. Once again, the great Dave Malucci had screwed up in a big way. "MALUCCI"! Kerry yelled at the junior resident who was just standing over Luka, staring down at him, intubation kit in hand.  
  
"Dave, do you want me to take that"? Carter offered, seeing the obvious distress on Dave's face. He gently pushed Dave aside and took the kit from his hands. "What the hell is wrong with him"? Kerry asked as she started to insert an IV into Luka's arm.  
  
"There's a bad head lac here" Abby stated as she checked over Luka's head.  
  
"Someone page for a surgical consult"! Kerry ordered. Haleh nodded and ran to the phone. "Dave, I suggest you help us out here"! Kerry continued.  
  
Dave couldn't. He stood by, watching the others save his friend's life but he couldn't seem to get himself to do anything. If was as if his hands and mind were frozen. Dave stared at Carter for a moment, who was in the middle of intubation. Dave suddenly felt tears well up in his eyes. He couldn't stand it any longer; he shoved past Abby and ran out of the trauma room, not looking back once. "I'll go after him" Carter offered.  
  
"Don't even think of it Carter! We need you in here! I don't know what the hell Malucci is playing at. Someone get Mark in here, we're going to need all the help we can get"! Kerry shouted.  
  
"He's in V-Fib" Abby interrupted. She couldn't believe that the man lying there was Luka. She fought back her own tears, intent on saving her friend's life.  
  
"Charge the paddles to 200"! Kerry ordered. Haleh did so and handed Kerry the paddles. "Clear"! She called as she shocked Luka.  
  
"Still V-fib," Abby announced.  
  
"Charge to 300! Clear"! Kerry shocked Luka again.  
  
"Got a rhythm" Carter said.  
  
"Thank god" Abby muttered.  
  
"Ok what have we got here"? Mark asked as he burst through the trauma room doors. "He's got a blunt trauma to the abdomen, a head lac, and multiple contusions" Kerry replied.  
  
"We've got a broken leg here too" Carter added.  
  
"Start a central line, call for a head CT, anyone call for a surgical consult"? Mark asked.  
  
"Benton's on his way" Haleh replied.  
  
"We're going to have to get him up to the OR as soon as possible" Kerry said sadly. "We're not going to lose him Kerry. I refuse to let that happen"! Mark said adamantly.  
  
"Hold on Luka, please, hold on" Abby whispered to her unconscious friend.  
  
~*~  
  
Dave shivered. he'd no idea how long he'd been sat out here. The last time he'd been on the roof was after he'd attacked that patient and Luka had come up here with some hot chocolate. "I could sure do with your hot chocolate now Luka" He said aloud. He felt so terrible for what had happened. It was his fault. He should've never gone to kiss Luka; after all, he knew that Luka wasn't in the least bit gay or bisexual. Dave just hadn't been able to resist. Ever since their talk on the roof that time, Dave had been having feelings for Luka. Dave had always known he was bisexual so the feelings hadn't come as much of a shock. The feelings had gotten stronger and stronger over the time that their friendship developed. Dave cursed himself for giving into those feelings. Luka was down in the trauma room dying because of what he'd done. Dave wiped his eyes, he couldn't believe how quickly everything had gone from so right to so wrong. It was typical of him, he thought, he'd get things the way he liked them, and then he'd screw up and make everything worse. If it wasn't for Michael, he'd jump right about now...  
  
"Dave"? A voice asked. Dave whipped around, for a second, he was sure that the voice belonged to Luka. However, when he saw Carter standing there, his hopeful smile faded. "What do you want Carter"? Dave asked, annoyed. Couldn't people just leave him alone? "Dr Weaver wants to know why you left like that" Carter replied. Dave sounded pretty pissed, but Carter decided to proceed anyway. "Weaver or you"? Dave challenged. Carter couldn't help but smirk at that. Dave was smarter than he'd originally given him credit for. "Ok, you've caught me out, but Weaver will want an explanation too" Carter answered. "And she'll get one Carter. When I'm ready" Dave said adamantly. "How's Luka doing"?  
  
"Not so great, he's been rushed to the OR for emergency surgery" Carter replied, cursing being so straight-forward when he saw Dave's anguished look. "Don't feel guilty Carter, I didn't expect you to sugar coat it. I'm a doctor too you know" Carter nodded, he had to admit, and Dave was a pretty perceptive guy. "What I want to know is, why the hell Luka was driving that fast. It was obvious he'd been speeding from the state of him, plus the paramedics said his car was pretty much a wreck" Carter wondered aloud.  
  
"I don't know" Dave muttered. He had never felt particularly close to Carter, so he wasn't about to explain what had happened earlier on. In fact, the only person Dave really wanted to talk to right now was in surgery, fighting for his life. "Dave, is there anything you want to talk about? You seemed to be acting pretty weird in the trauma room" Carter asked.  
  
"No offence Carter, but we barely speak and I know you only really tolerate me. So whatever I do have to say, it won't be to you" Dave answered quietly. He didn't want to offend Carter, but he knew what he was saying was the truth and judging by the look in Carter's eyes, he knew it too. "I totally understand Dave and I'm not offended, you were after all, telling the truth" Carter replied. "I'd just like you to know that if you ever did want to talk, I'd listen"  
  
"Thanks man" Dave said sincerely.  
  
"No problem" Carter said as he stood up. "Now, I sense that you might quite like to be alone"  
  
"If you don't mind"  
  
"Of course not, I'll tell Dr Weaver you're not feeling too good"  
  
"Well, technically it's not a lie" Dave replied with a weak smile. Carter nodded and left the roof, leaving Dave alone with his thoughts.  
  
~*~  
  
"Where's Malucci"? Dr Weaver asked the assembled staff at the admit desk.  
  
"Is he even on"? Carter asked.  
  
"He is now" Kerry replied. "Has anyone seen him"?  
  
"He was on the roof" Carter answered.  
  
"Damn him, if he thinks that hiding up there..." Kerry began angrily.  
  
"He did seem kind of upset about Luka" Abby said defensively.  
  
"Just tell him when he gets back."  
  
"Tell me what Chief"? Dave asked as he approached the admit desk. He had his usual grin plastered on his face. Carter and Abby frowned to each other, this wasn't right. "You have patients to see Dr Malucci and it's not acceptable for you to be disappearing off like that" Kerry scolded.  
  
"Won't happen again chief, I'm all over that board" Dave replied with a mini salute as Kerry hobbled off, no doubt to find some other poor soul to chew out. "Dave are you ok"? Abby asked, concerned by the way Dave was acting.  
  
"Of course I am Abby" Dave grinned as he dashed off in search of a patient.  
  
"There's something not right there" Abby whispered to Carter.  
  
"I agree, we're just going to have to keep an eye on him" Carter replied.  
  
"Is there any news on Luka yet"? Abby asked.  
  
"Still in surgery last I heard" Abby sighed deeply and tried to get back to her work.  
  
~*~  
  
Dave rubbed his eyes as he tried to concentrate on filling in his latest chart. The sounds of the admit desk were putting him off. For the past three hours, he'd buried himself in work so he didn't have to think about Luka and what happened. For a while it'd worked, he'd been able to be the Dave everyone knew, but in the last half an hour he'd lapsed. He was quiet and had tucked himself away and the end of admit desk attempting to catch up on his paperwork. Nobody bothered him all of the staff seemed to sense that he wanted to be alone. Dave threw his pen down, defeated. There was no way he could keep his mind off Luka anymore. His immense guilt was eating him up inside and he had so many questions running through his mind. What if Luka died? What if he woke up and hated Dave for what he'd done? There was so many possibilities Dave was driving himself crazy thinking about them all. "Dr Pete"! Dave called out as Benton stalked past the admit desk.  
  
"What Malucci"? Peter Benton asked. He'd just been through a tough surgery and didn't want jerks like Dave Malucci bothering him. "Were you working on Luka"? Dave asked.  
  
"Yes" Benton replied shortly.  
  
"How is he"? Dave questioned. He looked up at Benton, his eyes filled with worry and misery at the same time. Peter sighed, he really didn't need this. "He's in recovery right now, the surgery went well. If you want to know anything else I suggest you go up there instead of bugging me" He said angrily.  
  
"Thanks Dr Benton" Dave replied as he dashed off towards the stairs. Peter blinked, Dr Benton?  
  
~*~  
  
"When will he wake up"? Dave asked Elizabeth Corday. The two of them were standing outside Luka's room, staring in at him through the observation window. "In about an hour" Elizabeth replied.  
  
"How bad is he"?  
  
"We had to remove his spleen and do some reparation work to his liver but everything went well, he should be fine"  
  
"No thanks to me" Dave muttered.  
  
"Pardon"? Elizabeth replied.  
  
"Nothing" Dave stared at Luka, he looked so bad. Dave was used to seeing this type of thing everyday, but when it was someone you knew it was a million times worse. Dave didn't even hear as Elizabeth excused herself. All of his guilty thoughts were rumbling round in his head.  
  
"It's your fault Dave, it's all your fault"  
  
END OF CHAPTER EIGHT! 


	9. All about loving you

Notes: Man, I thought that chapter eight would be my last, but I suddenly got all inspired since channel four are currently showing ER double bills during the day! So here's another chapter for you all! The lyrics featured in this chapter are from 'Stop living the lie' by David Sneddon (There ya go Luka! A bit of Sneddo for you! ^.^)  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
I don't own ER or the characters but I really wish I did!  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
Chapter Nine - All about loving you  
  
Abby squeezed Carter's hand as she stood at the observation window looking at Luka. She couldn't believe it was her friend lying there, looking so ill and weak. Involuntary tears ran down her cheeks and she stared. Carter let go of her hand and squeezed her shoulders gently. He wrapped his arms around them and pulled her close to him. "It looks much worse than it is" He whispered to her softly.  
  
"I know" Abby said quietly. "You just never imagine you're going to see someone you care about in that situation"  
  
"He'll be fine Abby, like you said, he's a fighter" Carter replied, in an effort to comfort his lover. "Oh my God, Carter, look"! Abby exclaimed, pointing towards Luka. Carter looked though the window to see his colleague's eyes flutter and his hand twitch slightly. "He's waking up" Carter stated needlessly. Abby was already through the door and heading over to her friend's bedside. Carter followed, but hung back a bit, sensing that he wasn't really needed. "Luka"? Abby asked hopefully. "Luka, it's Abby, can you open your eyes for me"?  
  
Luka let out a soft moan and opened his eyes. It was all a bit too much for him to take in, where was he? And what had happened? Why was he in bed? And why was Abby here? "Abby"? He questioned, god his throat was sore.  
  
"Carter, could you get Luka some water please"? Abby asked her boyfriend. Carter nodded and left the room in search of a pitcher of water. "What happened"? Luka croaked.  
  
"You were in an accident" Abby replied. "Don't you remember"?  
  
"Not really" Luka said sadly.  
  
"Are you feeling alright? Does it hurt bad"?  
  
"Just a little sore, I'm ok" Luka replied with a small smile. He was glad that Abby was here for him. Carter returned with the water and Luka sipped it gratefully. It felt so good when the cool liquid washed down his throat, getting rid of that terrible hoarseness. "Better"? Abby asked.  
  
"Much" Luka said thankfully. "What's the damage"?  
  
"Well most of it is superficial, but they had to remove your spleen and do some repair work on your liver, then of course you broke your leg" Abby explained. As she was doing this, she noted that Luka's eyes drifted off to the observation window. Abby followed his line of sight and saw a very guilty looking Dave stood at the window. "YOU"! Luka shouted, trying to get up.  
  
"Luka, relax"! Abby said, trying to push Luka back down.  
  
"Dave! Get back here"! Luka yelled. Abby looked back to the window to see that Dave was already gone. "What was that about"? She asked Luka once he had settled back down.  
  
"That's between me and him" Luka answered. The vicious tone to his voice made Abby think it was best not to probe anymore into the subject.  
  
~*~  
  
"Dave"? Randi called as Dave stormed past the admit desk. Dave looked extremely upset and was ignoring anyone who attempted to speak to him whilst he stalked out. All that was on his mind now was the way Luka had reacted to him. It was plainly obvious that Luka was mad at him and blamed him for the accident. Why shouldn't he? It was Dave's fault after all. "Dave"? Yosh questioned as the junior resident shoved him aside. Yosh saw his co-worker had a troubled expression on his face and there were tears in his eyes. "Malucci"? Mark asked as Dave headed towards the doors of the ER. The junior resident didn't seem to hear his older colleague and Mark noticed just how close to losing it Dave was. "DR MALUCCI"! Kerry Weaver yelled. The others stared at Dave as he stopped in his tracks. He didn't turn around however, he just remained with his back to the admit desk. "Take one more step Dr Malucci and you don't bother coming back" Kerry warned. The other staff looked at Dave, anxious about what he might do. Dave closed his eyes for a second, took a deep breath and carried on walking.  
  
~*~  
  
"He walked out of this ER Mark, you saw what happened. I've had just about enough of Dr Malucci's behaviour" Kerry said wearily as she rubbed her face. She and Mark were sitting in the lounge, discussing Dave's recent actions. "I'm sure he had a good reason Kerry" Mark argued.  
  
"He has to understand he can't just walk out of here when he feels like it. He did the same thing earlier on when he wandered off to the roof. If you think I was unfair Mark, I'd like to know how you would handle him" Kerry replied.  
  
"He was obviously distressed Kerry, anyone could see that"  
  
"So you're saying that every time a member of staff is bothered about something then it's ok for them to just abandon their duties"? Kerry said angrily.  
  
"I'm not saying that Kerry, but it's obvious something has happened to him. Now if it were me and I was the one who was distressed as Dave was then what would you do? You'd advise me to go home" Mark shot back.  
  
"We're not talking about a single incident here Mark. As I've said, this happened earlier on"  
  
"Because there's obviously something that's seriously bothering Dave" Mark replied. "What? Based on your extensive knowledge of psychology"? Kerry challenged.  
  
"Anyone can see that Dr Malucci is going through a tough time at the moment" Mark stated.  
  
"I'm done with Dr Malucci Mark. I'm tired of his behaviour and his attitude, he has already been warned that he was on his last chance and I stick to that decision" Kerry said adamantly.  
  
"Kerry you and I both know this isn't really about Dave's behaviour today"  
  
"What are you implying"? Kerry asked.  
  
"I'm implying that you're so hard on Dave purely because you don't like him and if you're going to treat staff badly just because they don't like you then I suggest you start treating all the staff here like crap" Mark replied, his own anger becoming more apparent.  
  
"I'll tell you what Mark, you deal with Dr Malucci because frankly, I've had all I can take from him. I wash my hands of him" Kerry said as she stood up. "He's your problem now" She added as she hobbled out of the lounge.  
  
~*~  
  
"He sits alone at a table in a small cafe  
  
Drowning his tears in a bottomless cup of coffee  
  
And he's tumbling into his thoughts  
  
His memories are all tied in knots  
  
Who is going to save him  
  
No-one wants to know him"  
  
Dave gently stroked Michael's hair. The child was sleeping soundly in his lap. Dave was doing what he could to stop himself thinking about how his life was falling apart around him. He was sure he'd lost Luka, and to make matters worse, he'd now lost his job. Dave was definitely at his lowest ebb. He'd never felt this depressed in years. "I'm not giving you much of a future am I"? He whispered to the sleeping Michael. "I promised myself I'd be a better father than my dad was, but I'm hardly achieving that. I'm so sorry son, I really am. I'll make things better again" he continued sadly. He leant down and kissed Michael's forehead. Dave gently carried his son to his room. When he entered the lounge again, Dave sighed deeply before picking up the phone and dialling.  
  
~*~  
  
"Cook County General ER" Frank said curtly. "Sure, I'll tell her, but I wouldn't like to be you when you return" Frank shook his head when he put the phone down.  
  
"Who was that"? Carter enquired as he wrote a patients details on the board.  
  
"Abby"  
  
"I thought she was up in ICU with Luka" Carter replied with a frown.  
  
"She told me to tell you she went home" Randi said, not even looking up from her latest beauty magazine. "Thanks for the message" Carter said sarcastically. He turned back to Frank. "Is she alright"? Carter asked, a worried look crossing his features.  
  
"She says she doesn't feel very well and she's not coming in" Frank replied.  
  
"Did she say what was wrong"?  
  
"No, just that she wasn't feeling too good"  
  
"Maybe I should go and check on her" Carter thought aloud.  
  
"Don't even think about it Dr Carter" An angry voice said from behind him. Carter turned around and was met with the icy stare of a very pissed off Kerry Weaver. "Since Dr Malucci is no longer with us and Dr Kovac is obviously in no condition to work, we're two doctors down, we need you here doing your job" She continued.  
  
"Alright" Carter said grudgingly. He only hoped that Abby wasn't seriously ill with anything. "There's a wheezer in curtain two who needs your attention" Kerry ordered as she handed Carter the chart. Carter took it and wandered off, no doubt mumbling some very colourful things about Kerry Weaver.  
  
~*~  
  
Abby sat on the bathroom floor and leaned against the bath. She cried deep, soul-wrenching sobs. How could this have happened to her? She'd always been so careful. She picked up the box beside her and threw it. It hit the wall and bounced off, landing beside her feet in the small bathroom. Abby cursed through her sobs and prayed that none of her neighbours could hear her.  
  
~*~  
  
"Are you sure Rob? Ok, well thanks anyway" Dave said as he put the phone down. He'd called one of his friends, Robert, who he knew worked at the nearby hospital, Mercy. Dave had asked if there was any work going there for him. Sadly, there wasn't so now Dave was back to square one, jobless. Dave picked up his small son and carried him to the bedroom. Michael opened his eyes and smiled up at his father. "Love you Daddy" He said.  
  
"I love you too son" Dave replied with a smile. One smile from Michael never failed to cheer him up. "When I'm older, I'm going to be a doctor just like you"! Michael exclaimed excitedly as he settled down underneath his bed sheets. Dave didn't respond, he simply tucked his son in and kissed his forehead. Michael was sleep by the time Dave had switched off the bedroom light. He gently closed the door and leaned against it. "You don't want to be like me Michael" He whispered into the darkness.  
  
END OF CHAPTER NINE! 


	10. Everything I do

Notes:  
  
Yet another chapter to add to my growing list! I hope you're enjoying the story so far, don't forget to read and review! This chapter is dedicated to Luka (you know who you are), thanks for all your help in writing this and remember I love you this much! *holds arms out as far as they go*  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters!  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
Chapter Ten - Everything I do  
  
Luka stared at the bright ceiling light above him. Dave hadn't been to visit him at all since he'd yelled. Not that Luka was surprised. He guessed he did sound pretty angry. The annoying thing about it was that Luka wasn't the least bit angry with Dave. He was more confused and shocked. He didn't know that Dave liked guys in that way and Dave hadn't shown any signals that he did either. That was why the kiss had come as such a shock to Luka. Luka deeply regretted the way he'd reacted, although he hadn't really known what he was doing. Luka winced, remembering that he'd driven his car drunk. Not the smartest of ideas, he thought to himself. He was lucky to be alive that's for sure, not many drunk drivers survived accidents. Luka turned his thoughts back to Dave. How was Dave feeling? He must be afraid of coming to visit him, for fear of being yelled at or worse. Luka sighed, feeling tears in his eyes. He was missing his friend.  
  
~*~  
  
Dave slammed his fist into the alarm clock. It went flying across the room and landed on the floor with an ominous crash. Dave didn't really care. It wasn't like he'd need it for a while anyway. He'd forgotten to turn his alarm off so it had woken him at seven am, an hour away from his usual morning shift. He wondered who County would get as his replacement. Someone they deemed much better no doubt. Dave thought about Luka, lying in ICU, alone. He felt another terrible stab of guilt. He hadn't been to see Luka since he'd yelled at him the last time he'd been outside his room. Dave desperately wanted to see Luka, to talk to him, maybe explain a few things, but he wasn't sure Luka would want to know anymore. After all, it seemed like their friendship was ruined. Dave cursed himself for having feelings for the older man. He couldn't help it, he found him so attractive, his personality, his body, everything. He'd grown so close to Luka and Luka seemed like the only person in the world who could understand him, the only person, clichéd as it sounded, who could truly speak to his heart and Dave had gone and ruined it with one wayward kiss. The door to his room creaked open and Michael entered, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "Daddy"? He said questioningly.  
  
"I'm awake Mikey" Dave answered. Michael padded over to Dave's bed and climbed in next to his father. Dave hugged him tightly. "Are you ok"? He asked in concern. "Where's Luka? He hasn't been here for a long time Daddy" Michael asked. Dave sighed, out of the mouths of babes, he thought to himself. "Luka is very busy right now Michael" Dave replied, knowing it must sound quite weak. He only hoped the five year old would buy it. "Will he come soon"? Michael said as he hugged Dave.  
  
"Maybe son, maybe" Dave answered as he pulled Michael even closer. He held his son tightly as the tears began to fall.  
  
~*~  
  
Carter knocked on the door of Abby's apartment. He tried to balance the two cups of coffee and the bag of bagels he'd bought. He hoped that his girlfriend would be awake and that she didn't think it was too early. He heard the sound of the chain being drawn back and shortly afterwards, Abby opened the door a crack to see who it was. "Morning beautiful" Carter grinned.  
  
"I don't feel too good Carter" came Abby's short reply. She sounded slightly upset and Carter noticed this. "What's wrong? Do you want me to take a look at you"? he asked.  
  
"No, I'll be fine. I just want to sleep" Abby replied as she began to close the door.  
  
"Wait! I brought breakfast" Carter said as he held up the bag contained the bagels. "I'm not very hungry" Abby muttered as she shut the door. Carter stared at the door in disbelief. Abby was acting very strangely. Carter wondered if it had anything to do with Luka and the accident. He frowned slightly and his imagination began to go into overdrive. What if Abby still harboured feelings for Luka and that's why she was so upset? Carter turned and began to walk down the hallway thinking just that. He decided to leave Abby be until she called him. If she wanted to have feelings for some other guy, then it was perfectly fine with Carter, he just hoped she didn't expect any kind of affection from him anymore.  
  
~*~  
  
"Where are we going Daddy"? Michael asked as the El made it's away across Chicago. Dave had been staring out of the window, watching the world go by.  
  
"We're going to talk to a friend of mine" Dave answered. He didn't really want Michael to be there when he begged for his job back at County. Hell, he didn't even really want to beg for his job back, but he needed the money to ensure that Michael had everything he needed. He didn't want to be branded a bad father as well as a bad doctor. It was unfortunate that Mrs Hinton was ill with the flu otherwise he'd have been able to take Michael there. As more people boarded the El, Dave pulled Michael onto his lap. He didn't want to lose his son in the busy rush hour crowds. He cursed as he saw Elizabeth Corday and Mark Greene board the El. They were the last people he wanted to see right now. Dave hoped they'd stay at the other end of the carriage and in the mass of people, not notice his presence. "Daddy! I dropped Teddy"! Michael whined as he pointed to the brown woolly bear on the floor. "Need any help"? A familiar voice asked. Dave looked up to see Mark with Elizabeth standing beside him. They were both wearing smiles which Dave found slightly unnerving. "Thanks" Dave said as Mark picked up the bear and handed it back to Michael.  
  
"Are you taking care of him for a friend"? Elizabeth asked. Dave was about to reply before Michael interrupted. "Who are you"? the young child asked.  
  
"My name's Elizabeth and this is my husband Mark, we're doctors" Elizabeth replied with a smile. This child reminded her of someone, but she couldn't place who. "Really? My Daddy's a doctor! and when I grow up I'm going to be just like him! This is my Daddy"! Michael said proudly as he hugged Dave. Dave smiled at Michael and hugged him back. "In response to your previous question Dr Corday, no" Dave smiled a bit when he saw the shocked look on his colleague's faces. "How old is he"? Mark asked.  
  
"I'm five"! Michael said brightly.  
  
"He looks a lot like you" Elizabeth commented, smiling at Michael.  
  
"So where are you headed"? Mark questioned.  
  
"County, I'm hoping I can convince Weaver to give me my job back. I wouldn't have brought Michael, only his usual babysitter was sick and I had no-one else" Dave explained. He didn't want Mark and Elizabeth to think he'd brought Michael along for sympathy. "What do you think my chances are"?  
  
"With Kerry you haven't got a hope in hell" Mark said honestly, with a slight smirk. Dave looked crestfallen. "But with me, you're on your final chance Malucci, and I mean it" Mark continued.  
  
"What"? Dave blinked, not understanding what the attending was trying to tell him. "Kerry decided to leave your fate in my hands after I made a good case for you" Mark answered. "Wow, thanks Dr Greene"! Dave said excitedly. "But why did you do it"?  
  
"Because I can see you're hurting Dave, I don't know what it's about nor do I expect you to tell me. All I expect of you is that you take this chance and you get help from someone whoever that may be" Mark replied.  
  
"You're all right Dr Greene"! Dave grinned. "When do I start"?  
  
"Tomorrow morning at eight, morning shift. I don't expect you to find a babysitter at this short notice"  
  
"Dr Corday you're a lucky woman"! Dave remarked as he grinned from ear to ear. He couldn't believe it! He'd got his job back. This was step one in an attempt to get his life back on track. "Are we still going to see you friend Daddy"? Michael asked, looking up at Dave with his beautiful brown eyes. "No Mikey, but how does ice cream sound"? Dave asked with a smile.  
  
"Yay"! Michael shouted causing various people to look at the father and son curiously. Dave didn't care, for once, things were looking better.  
  
~*~  
  
Luka opened his eyes as Abby entered his room. "I'm sorry, did I wake you"? She asked quietly.  
  
"Not really, I was thinking" Luka replied, sitting up.  
  
"About what"? Abby questioned as she sat down on the visitor's chair.  
  
"Dave" Luka answered. "He hasn't been to see me since he yelled and I really want to see him, the two of us need to talk"  
  
"Would you like me to have a word with him"? Abby offered.  
  
"That would be great" Luka replied gratefully. He absently picked at the fluff on his hospital blanket and began to roll it between his fingers. Abby looked away, she had tears in her eyes and didn't want her friend to see them. "What's wrong Abby"? Luka asked.  
  
"Nothing" Abby replied, her voice faltering. The tears were threatening to escape and she was finding it hard to keep her voice from cracking. "It does not appear to be nothing"  
  
"I don't know how to tell you Luka, I'm in so much trouble" Abby said before bursting into tears. The tears streaked down her face as she began to sob uncontrollably. Luka looked at her uncomfortably. He was in no position to hold her, he was still too sore to move a lot. He awkwardly reached out his arm, and touched her shoulder. "Sssh, don't cry" He said feebly. Luka was far more tactile with his comforting, and found it harder to find the words when he wasn't holding the person. "Luka...I don't know what to do"! Abby cried.  
  
"What's happened? Has somebody hurt you? Has Carter hurt you"? Luka asked, rage suddenly filling him. If Carter had done anything to hurt Abby then he'd...  
  
"No! no..nothing like that" Abby said as she shakily wiped tears from her eyes.  
  
"Then what is it"?  
  
"I'm pregnant Luka" Abby whispered so the Croatian could barely hear her.  
  
"You're pregnant"? Luka stuttered, this was the last news he'd been expecting, especially from the way she was acting, pregnancy was supposed to be a happy thing. "I did the test yesterday" Abby continued, wiping away more errant tears. "I'm having a scan later to officially confirm it"  
  
"That's a good thing though isn't it"? Luka said, confused.  
  
"No! far from it Luka. You don't understand, this is a bad thing, a very bad thing"!  
  
"Why? You have a good relationship with Carter" Luka answered. He tried to hide his jealously, he was still slightly hurting over his break up with Abby and it really did smart that she was now with Carter. "Just think Luka, my mother's bipolar. That means there's a good chance that my baby will be too, this might sound selfish but I couldn't deal with that. Not after all those years with my mother, I just couldn't" Abby replied, again on the verge of more tears.  
  
"There's only a small chance Abby, your baby could also be perfectly healthy" Luka said gently.  
  
"I don't want to take that chance Luka, I can't. This, this has happened before" Abby stuttered.  
  
"When"? Luka gasped.  
  
"Before I came to County, I was pregnant with my husband Brian's child. But I got rid of it for the very same reasons I want to get rid of it now"  
  
"Does Carter know about this"?  
  
"That's the worst part, he doesn't and he can't know Luka. If he finds out, he'll want to keep the baby, you know what Carter's like with children, he won't understand"! Abby said desperately.  
  
"I don't think what you plan to do is right Abby, but I will not tell Carter about any of this" Luka replied.  
  
"Thank you Luka" Abby offered a small smile.  
  
END OF CHAPTER TEN 


	11. Decisions, decisions

Notes:  
  
This story is getting longer and longer by the day! Each time I tell myself it'll be the last chapter, and each time I think of a new plot line and can't tear myself away from it! So here's another chapter, enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Blood is red and Dave's scrubs are blue, I don't own ER so please don't sue!  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
Chapter Eleven - Decisions, Decisions  
  
Dave whistled as he wrote up his latest chart. It felt good to be back in the ER. True, he'd had nothing but dirty looks from Kerry all morning but now that he had money coming in again, he decided he didn't really care. "Good morning Dr Carter"! Dave beamed as Carter entered the ER.  
  
"Dave?" Carter asked with a curious look. "The nurses told me you'd be fired"  
  
"I'm back baby"! Dave said triumphantly.  
  
"Fair enough" Carter replied as he put his stethoscope around his neck. "How's Weaver taking it"?  
  
"She's pissed but that's hardly new"  
  
"Abby"! Carter called out as Abby dashed past the desk. Carter was the last person she wanted to see at the moment. She continued walking, hoping to escape from her sometimes overbearing boyfriend. "Abby! Wait up"! Carter called as he ran after her. Abby sighed and stopped, allowing Carter to catch up with her. "Are you alright"? He asked with a concerned look on his face. "I'm fine" Abby answered in a monotone voice.  
  
"I didn't think you were on this morning" Carter said, ignoring Abby's tone of voice. "I'm making up time from missing my last shift"  
  
"You don't have to" Carter frowned.  
  
"Look Carter, I'm busy, I need to go get something for a patient, we'll talk about this later ok"? Abby replied as she began to walk off again.  
  
"Alright. And Abby"?  
  
"Yeah"?  
  
"I love you" Carter said, looking straight into her eyes. Abby looked upset for a minute before taking a deep breath and replying, "I love you too Carter".  
  
~*~  
  
Abby looked at her watch, she was going to be late for her appointment. She watched Dave goofing around with Malik at the admit desk. She had a choice to make, she could either go to her appointment, or she could talk to Dave since appeared to have some free time. She knew that the sooner she sorted Dave out, the sooner Luka would be happy again. Abby made her choice, she approached the desk and tapped Dave on the shoulder. "Could I have a word with you in the lounge"? She asked.  
  
"Of course you can! I always make time for my special ladies"! Dave joked, giving Malik a goofy grin. Abby didn't reply, instead she just led Dave to the lounge. Once the both of them were seated, she began.  
  
"I need to talk to you about Luka"  
  
"I'm sorry Abby, but I uh, have patients to see" Dave said nervously, standing up. "Sit down Malucci"! Abby ordered forcefully.  
  
"God! is there anyone who doesn't yell at me"! Dave muttered.  
  
"Luka wants to know why you haven't been to visit him, practically everyone else in the ER has"  
  
"I can't Abby..." Dave replied. He stared down at the moth-eaten carpet of the lounge, thinking how they should really get it changed or at least properly cleaned. "Why not"? Abby asked. As she looked at the junior resident she thought that she distinctly saw a glimmer of pain in his eyes. "Trust me, I just can't"  
  
"Is it because of the way Luka reacted last time"? Abby questioned, trying to get Dave's eyes to meet hers. "Partly" Dave admitted.  
  
"He didn't mean to yell like that Dave. He wants to see you. He's hurt that you haven't been to see him. I think that he thinks you don't give a damn"  
  
"I do give a damn"! Dave said adamantly, looking straight into Abby's eyes. Abby found his intense look rather disconcerting. "Then show him"  
  
"Look Abby, you don't understand. I can't go and see Luka"! Dave was almost yelling now. Abby was sure she'd certainly hit on a sore point.  
  
"Dave you're hurting him"! Abby replied, shocked at the volume of her own voice.  
  
"When am I not"! Dave shouted. He leapt up and left the lounge, slamming the door as he went.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hey Carter! OB/GYN are on the phone for Abby" Jerry called to Carter who was eating his lunch at the admit desk, whilst attempting to get ahead on his paper. "I haven't seen her for a while, is it concerning a patient"? Carter asked with a frown. "They say they need to talk to her" Jerry replied.  
  
"Give me the phone" Carter ordered. Jerry handed over the phone and Carter practically snatched it out of the desk clerk's hand. "This is Dr Carter, I'm Abby's boyfriend, anything you have to tell her, you can tell me and I'll make sure I pass on the message". Jerry watched as Carter's expression suddenly changed from irritated to shock. "Thank you, I'll make sure she gets that" Carter said as he hung up.  
  
"What was that about"? Jerry asked.  
  
"Nothing important" Carter said angrily. "When you see Abby tell her I need to speak to her, urgently. I'll have my pager on so get her to give me a page" He continued as he grabbed his latest chart and stormed off.  
  
~*~  
  
"I'm sorry Luka, I tried but he just didn't want to know" Abby said gently. After her heated discussion with Dave, she'd immediately come up to talk to Luka about it. Luka was staring ahead, not making eye contact with his friend. He was obviously upset. "What did he say"? He asked quietly.  
  
"He just kept saying how he couldn't come and see you, even when I explained that you weren't mad at him" Abby replied. She gently placed her hand on top of Luka's in a small effort to comfort him. "I'm not mad at him, I just want to talk him about what happened" Luka explained. "About the accident"? Abby questioned. She sensed that there might be something more to this than Luka was letting on. "That and something else"  
  
"Luka, it may be none of my business, but what exactly has gone on between you and Dave? Before this accident you were really close"  
  
"We were close. Dave took me to his favourite bar, it was this quaint little karaoke place. I didn't want to sing at first, but after a few beers I somehow got the courage to sing, so I did and Dave and I were having a great time. I never thought that I could have so much fun" Luka stopped, the hurt showing on his face. Abby gripped his hand tightly, showing she was there. Luka took a deep breath and continued. "I was pretty drunk by the end of the evening and Dave took me back to his place, he must've driven because I don't remember driving to his apartment. I don't really remember much else apart from when we got to Dave's I accidently pulled him on top of me when he put me on the sofa, I remember just laughing and laughing, then all of a sudden, he kissed me"  
  
"Dave"? Abby said in shock.  
  
"I didn't know what to do, the kiss itself did not feel bad at all, Dave's a good kisser, but I pushed him off and out of shock I just grabbed my car keys and left"  
  
"And that's when you had the accident" Abby stated.  
  
"Dave must feel like it's his fault and he must think that I am angry with him because of the way I reacted to his kiss. It wasn't anger though, it was more shock out of what had just happened. I had no idea Dave had an interest in men" Luka continued to explain.  
  
"So that's why he's acting all strange"  
  
"Yes" "Oh my God Luka, I had no idea. What are you going to do"? Abby asked, still trying to take in what she'd just heard, Dave and bisexual weren't usually words that went together. "I need to talk to him. We need to sort this out"  
  
"I'll have another word with him, try and get him to come up here" Abby offered.  
  
"No, that won't be necessary. I have my own plan" Luka replied. He decided he was going to take matters into his own hands and sort this out once and for all.  
  
~*~  
  
Abby sighed deeply as she approached the admit desk. It wasn't particularly late, but it already felt like she'd been awake for hours. She was still trying to take in the shock of what Luka had told her earlier. On top of that, she had her own concerns to deal with. She'd missed her appointment upstairs with OB/GYN to have a scan and talk about the possibility of having an abortion. She did feel guilty at the fact that Carter would never know about this and that she was going behind his back, but she decided that what Carter didn't know, couldn't possibly hurt him. She loved Carter deeply and she didn't want to drag him into her world and concerns about Bi- polar disease. "Abby"? Jerry's voice cut through her thoughts.  
  
"Yeah"?  
  
"Carter said that he needed to talk to you urgently. He sounded pretty pissed too"  
  
"Did he say where he was"? Abby asked, frowning. She figured that Carter was probably pissed at the way she'd been with him recently. "No, but I can page him if you want, he said he'd keep his pager on" Jerry offered. "Thanks Jerry, tell him to stop by my place tonight after his shift, we won't get a chance to talk properly anywhere here" Abby replied.  
  
~*~  
  
"Daddy I think you need a bath too"! Michael chirped, splashing Dave with water. Dave was in the middle of giving Michael a bath, although he wasn't quite sure who was bathing who anymore. "Hey Michael stop that"! Dave said, trying to sound angry. It wasn't any use, he could never be really mad at his son. "You're all bubbly"! Michael giggled. He splashed again, causing Dave to be covered in even more water. "And you're in trouble"! Dave joked. Michael offered him his best smile, the smile he knew would get him out of any trouble. As predicted, Dave instantly melted. "Dirty dirty dirty Daddy"! Michael sung as he splashed about. Dave laughed as he watched his son. There was a knock at the door and Michael immediately started to clumsily climb out of the bath tub. Dave grabbed a towel to wrap Michael in, but by the time he'd turned back, his son was already out of the bath and in the living room, heading towards the door. Dave chased after him and at the last moment, managed to scoop Michael up and wrap a towel around him. "You've made the carpets all wet"! Dave gently scolded. Michael merely grinned, finding the situation a big joke. Dave held Michael with one arm and answered the door, he almost fainted with shock at who was stood there.  
  
"Luka"! He gasped. His friend was standing in the doorway, leaning heavily on a pair of crutches. He looked pretty tired and weak. "Luka"! Michael chorused happily. "Shit Luka! What the hell are you going here? You better come in" Dave said as he moved aside to let the Croatian Attending inside. Luka limped through the door and over to the sofa. Dave closed the door and joined him, sitting Michael on his lap. "So what are you doing here"? Dave asked uncomfortably.  
  
"You wouldn't come and see me, so I have to come and see you" Luka replied quietly. "How did you get here"?  
  
"I signed out at the hospital and took a cab here" Luka answered.  
  
"You obviously signed out AMA, but why Luka"? Dave asked, shocked.  
  
"I told you, we need to talk and you wouldn't come and see me so I had to remedy that situation" Dave bit his lip and looked down at Michael, he didn't really want to discuss this in front of his five year old son. "Michael, why don't you go and play in your room for a while"? Dave suggested, looking at his son. "But Daddy I want to talk to Luka"! Michael whined.  
  
"Michael please, you can talk to Luka later, but right now Luka and Daddy need to talk" Dave pleaded.  
  
"I'll make sure I come and see you before I go" Luka added, smiling at the young child. This was all the confirmation Michael needed. He hopped off Dave's knee and headed to his room. "Then I can show you my animal farm"! Michael said excitedly. "Put your PJ's on too Michael"! Dave called as Michael closed the door to his bedroom. "So why didn't you come to see me"? Luka asked, staring directly at Dave.  
  
"Because, I didn't know how you felt, when you saw me at the window and yelled, I thought you hated me and I was the last person you wanted to see" Dave explained, not looking at Luka. "I didn't mean to shout, it was just the shock of seeing you again" Luka replied gently. "Do you hate me?" Dave asked, scared of the answer.  
  
"Of course not Dave, I care about you, a lot" Dave looked up at Luka, a small smile playing on his lips. "Really"?  
  
"Of course you silly fool" Luka said with a smile. "We've grown really close, I couldn't hate you".  
  
"One of us has to mention it I guess" Dave said quietly, the smile on his face fading. "The kiss"? Dave simply nodded. "You're right, we do have to talk about that" Luka agreed.  
  
"I'm sorry about that, I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. I just couldn't control my feelings. I know I should've, but I don't know, it just sort of happened" Dave answered, knowing it sounded weak.  
  
"I had no idea you even liked guys" Luka admitted. "It came as quite a shock".  
  
"I've always been bisexual, I just don't make it into some big thing. As I've said before, the people at County have a set idea of me being this womanising kind of guy, so instead of trying to defy that, I just go with it. That's why when I'm talking about my 'conquests' they're always women, although I haven't actually had as many as I claim to have had and those I actually have been with, well, most of them were men I haven't been with that many women since Julia" Dave explained.  
  
"Julia"?  
  
"Michael's mother, we met in Grenada while I was at med school there. She was beautiful, perfect, all I ever wanted and more. She was the first person I truly loved, the first person I truly trusted. I'd never felt like that for anyone before, it felt like love. We started dating and we were so happy together. A couple of months into our relationship, she tells me that she's pregnant. I didn't care, I loved children and she seemed like the perfect person to have one with. So we decided to keep the baby. When Michael was six months old, I decided to propose to her, she said yes and I was walking on air I was that happy. She told me that there was one condition though, I had to tell her everything about me, my secrets and in return she would do the same for me. She said it would mean that we were in a totally honest relationship and we knew each other intimately. I loved her and trusted her, so I had no gripes with her condition at all. She went first, telling me about various things that had happened in her childhood, her twin sister dying, having to live with her grandmother while her parents worked on some project in Africa. She admitted that during the first week of our relationship, she'd kissed another guy. I didn't care, I loved her and I was the one who had her now, so I didn't really get angry or anything. Then it was my turn, so I told her all about my father, the sorts of things he used to do, how it had hurt me but at the same time made me stronger. Then it came to it, to be totally honest towards her, I had to admit I was bisexual. Like I said, I've always known I was bisexual and I had no problem with it, I'd accepted it pretty quickly, figuring that I loved who I loved and there was nothing I could do about it. Anyway, I told her and she completely freaked out on me. She got really mad and asked how I could be that way. I said that I couldn't help it and it was just the way I was. Then she dropped the bombshell on me, she said that she couldn't accept it and that she could never be with a guy who liked other guys in a sexual way. She said she'd never be able to trust me because she'd have to be twice as careful. She told me that it disgusted her, how I could have those short of feelings for someone of the same sex. So we had a big fight and she left me, saying she never wanted anything to do with me again. As for Michael, well, she didn't want to know, she said that he'd probably inherited his father's 'bent' streak and she didn't want a son like that. I couldn't believe how cold she was, towards her own son, towards me, the man she was supposed to be deeply in love with"  
  
"Dave, I'm so sorry" Luka said, putting a hand on Dave's shoulder.  
  
"It's ok, it's all in the past now anyway" Dave said. His voice sounded shaky, which suggested to Luka that his friend still probably carried the scars from that experience. "I don't think me reacting the way I did to the kiss helped any. I suppose you probably thought I was disgusted by it" Luka replied.  
  
"Were you"? Dave asked.  
  
"Not really, I didn't feel really bad, in fact, it felt quite nice. You're a good kisser Dave".  
  
"Then why did you run like that"?  
  
"Because I was so shocked, it was a shock reaction. Admittedly it wasn't the best thing to do, go and get in a car crash"  
  
"I'm so sorry Luka, it's my fault" Dave apologised.  
  
"No it isn't Dave, you did what felt right at the time, how could you possibly have known"? Luka asked.  
  
"I know you don't like guys like that, so I should've known not to kiss you" Dave replied sadly.  
  
"Dave, how do you feel about me"? Luka questioned. He put his hand under Dave's chin and forced the junior resident to look at him in the eyes. Dave looked back, and prepared to give the most honest answer he'd ever given in his life.  
  
END OF CHAPTER ELEVEN 


	12. Happy together

Notes: Ok folks, here it is! The last chapter of 'Where do we go from here'. It's been a long time coming, and it's been in the works for about a month or two now so I'm really pleased that it's actually done! Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story until the end and thanks to Luka for all your help with the storylines! And a final note here to state that the lyrics used within this chapter are from the song 'Everybody Hurts' by REM. My choice to include these particular lyrics was three fold. One, I felt that the lyrics themselves summed up the emotion in that particular point in the story. Two, because I'm personally a fan of REM myself and that song never fails to bring me to tears, which kind of sucks because I had to listen to that track several times to get the scene in my head so I could write it down and finally, because I know that the song is a particular favourite of Luka's (you know who you are dude!).  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or the characters but you knew that!  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
Chapter Twelve - Happy together  
  
Abby answered her front door to find a very angry looking John Carter standing in the hallway. "When were you going to tell me"? He demanded angrily. His eyes flashed with rage and he was slightly red in the face, indicating he really meant it. "Uh, come in" Abby replied, opening the door further to give Carter access to the apartment. Carter strode in and stood in the middle of her living room, hands folded, the angry look staying steady on his face. "So, when were you going to tell me"? He repeated.  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about Carter" Abby said. This was true, she didn't have any idea why Carter was so angry or what it was that she hadn't told him, he couldn't possibly know about her pregnancy could he? No- one else but her and Luka knew and Luka certainly wouldn't tell Carter, not after promising to keep it a secret. "Of course you do Abby, so when were you going to tell me you were pregnant? Maybe after you'd got rid of the poor thing"? Carter asked. "How do you know about that"? Abby demanded, feeling her own anger take over. Had Luka told him?  
  
"Does it really matter how I know"? Carter challenged. His stance remained defiant.  
  
"As a matter of fact Carter, yes it does"! Abby shouted. She put her hands on her hips. She couldn't believe how mad she was right now. "You got a call from OB/GYN earlier today at work. I took a message on your behalf. I told them I was your boyfriend and anything they had to tell you, they could tell me"  
  
"How dare you"! Abby interrupted. She felt so mad. She could slap Carter across his arrogant looking face.  
  
"So I get this woman on the line, she tells me you missed an appointment for a scan and a discussion about having an abortion" Carter continued, ignoring Abby.  
  
"They had no right to do that! That was confidential"!  
  
"They have no right? You have no right keeping something like this from me Abby"! Carter yelled. He glared at Abby, still unable to understand why she would do something like this. "I have every right! It's my baby"! Abby argued.  
  
"And it's my baby too"! Carter shot back. "I'm not stupid Abby, we didn't use protection that night when we got together, and I know that you haven't been with anyone else since"  
  
"It's my body Carter! And I'll do what I like"!  
  
"Even if it means ending a life and lying to your boyfriend, who, by the way, you claim to love"? Carter replied.  
  
"You don't understand Carter, you couldn't possibly understand" Abby said, her voice returned to its normal volume. How could she ever explain her worries to Carter? "How the hell I am supposed to even try to understand if you won't even give me the damn chance"!  
  
"Because Brian didn't understand" Abby said, fighting back tears. Carter looked at Abby, shock filling his eyes. "What do you mean"? He asked, his voice considerably calmer now.  
  
"Carter, this has happened before" Abby replied. She took a seat on the sofa and cradled her head in her hands. "It's not the first time I've been pregnant" She continued. Carter walked over to the sofa and sat down beside his girlfriend. She looked at him, the tears in her eyes in serious danger of escaping. Carter felt all his anger melt away with that one look. "What happened"? He asked gently.  
  
"Brian wanted children but I didn't, he couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to have kids, so when I got pregnant, I had an abortion. He never found out, he never understood, so how could I tell him"?  
  
"What didn't he understand"? Carter questioned, looking into her eyes. The tears had already escaped and were flowing freely down both of Abby's cheeks. Abby herself was ashamed. She hated crying in front of people. "He didn't understand that I was scared" She whispered. She tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear and wiped her eyes. "Scared of what"?  
  
"That my baby would be...like my mother" Abby said quietly.  
  
"Bi-polar"? Carter asked. Abby nodded, dissolving into more tears. Her shoulders shook and her face was a mixture of misery and pain. "Oh Abby" Carter said as he pulled her into a tight hug. He rubbed her back as she cried, deep, heart-wrenching sobs that could only come from a place deep inside.  
  
~*~  
  
"I love you Luka" Were the first words out of Dave's mouth. He hadn't meant them to be. He wanted to say some big speech that would incorporate everything, all his feelings for Luka. Instead, all that came out was those four little words. Luka let go of Dave's chin and sank backwards on the sofa. Dave looked at the floor. He was too scared to see what Luka's facial expression was, he found that with Luka, his face often said more than his words. Dave felt tears prick in his eyes, he cursed, he couldn't cry now, he just couldn't. He felt a hand on his shoulder, a strong hand, a warm hand, a hand from a friend. "Dave, I don't know what to say" Luka said gently. "I do have one question though"  
  
"What's that"? Dave asked, unsure of whether he wanted to hear what was about to come. "When you kissed me, did you feel the chemistry, that spark, the one you probably felt with Julia"?  
  
"Yes, I swear on it Luka, I did" Dave replied honestly. "Oh Dave, I'm so sorry" Luka said sadly. "That will make this even harder"  
  
"What do you mean"? Dave asked, looking Luka in the eyes, trying to read any hint of what Luka was about to say. "Dave, I can't be with you. It's not anything to do with you, I enjoyed that kiss. It's the fact I still carry so much emotional baggage. I know deep down that I am still in love with my wife and I don't think I'll ever feel differently. Then there's Abby, I'm still not over our break up. I know she's with Carter now, but it hurts to think of her, how I'll never have her in that way again. It wouldn't be fair on you" Luka replied.  
  
"Right, I understand" Dave said shortly, immediately looking away.  
  
"No you don't"  
  
"No, I don't. It sounds to me like you're just using your wife and Abby as an excuse. If you really did enjoy that kiss, you'd want to be with me, you'd love me, and you'd love me as much as I love you" Dave replied, standing up. He put a hand to his face, trying hard not to cry.  
  
"You're very special to me Dave. I'm not doubting that I love you. I just don't love you in the way you want me to"  
  
"Fine" Dave said. His voice choked up with emotion.  
  
"I just want you to be happy Dave, and I don't think you'd be happy with me" Luka continued. "I would be happy with you Luka, that's just it, being with you would make me the happiest man on earth"  
  
"We've grown very close Dave. I don't want to lose you. I treasure our relationship. I care about you a lot"  
  
"I care about you a lot too Luka. That's why I want to be with you. You're a special guy Luka. You're so kind, so gentle, so giving. That's why I want to wake up on a morning with you beside me. I want to be able to tell you I love you whenever I can. I want to hold you in my arms and know that I'm with the most wonderful man I've ever met. I want to be able to come home to you, knowing that you love me and you'll go on loving me forever. I want to kiss you, to touch you, to get to know every inch of you, to love every inch of you. I want to feel your warmth as you hold me. I want to love your body as much as I love your soul, your personality. I want to be able to lose myself in those eyes of yours. I want to be able to feel safe to trust you with my life. I us to have everything Luka, I want us to be in love, mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually, I want it all Luka, every bit, every part of you. I don't want to have sex with you Luka. I want to make love to you. I don't want to just chat. I want to talk, to really talk. To explore every bit of your soul and I want to give you everything I have". Dave explained, tears racing down his cheeks as he did so. Luka stared at the broken man in front of him. He had tears in his own eyes. He had never heard Dave say anything that honest or that adult before. "Dave.." Luka started. He swallowed, his words failing him. "Oh Dave." He tried again. Dave just stood in front of his friend, crying his heart out. The pain and hurt reflected in his usually bright brown eyes. The tears were slowly making their way from those very eyes, down his cheeks and to his chin, where they dropped onto his already wet grey sweater. Dave didn't feel ashamed, normally he would've done. He hated people seeing him cry. Only Luka wasn't people, he was special, he was his love. That was the one thing he was sure of at this moment. "Dave I'm so sorry" Luka finally managed to say. Dave bit his lip and nodded sadly. "Will you dance with me?" He asked hoarsely.  
  
"Pardon" Luka said quizzically, staring at Dave. He thought it was a pretty strange request for him to make. "Please, I know you've got a broken leg but you made it over here, and it would mean so much to me, if we could just...dance" Dave pleaded, looking at Luka with those soulful brown eyes which Luka couldn't resist even if he tried. "Alright" Dave nodded and walked over to the CD player. He selected a CD and slipped it in. The music burst out of the speakers and Luka recognised it as 'Everybody hurts' by REM a song he'd heard Abby play before. Luka frowned, this definitely wasn't Dave's usual taste in music and he was pretty surprised that Dave even owned a CD like that. Nevertheless, this is the CD that Dave deemed appropriate so Luka went along with it. Dave approached Luka and gently put his arms around his friend's neck. Luka responded by placed his hands awkwardly on Dave's waist. Using the beat of the music as a starting point, the two men began to move, if somewhat uncomfortably on Luka's part, to the music.  
  
'When the day is long, and the night, the night is yours alone, When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on, Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes, Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.'  
  
Luka noticed that as they moved, Dave closed his eyes and began to quietly sing along with the track.  
  
"When your day is night alone If you feel like letting go When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh no. Don't throw your hand"  
  
Eventually Luka got into the music and began to move more comfortably. Luka ignored the pain that was shooting up his leg, nothing was more important that Dave. He pulled the younger man closer, Dave didn't respond. He merely kept his eyes closed and continued to sing softly.  
  
"If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on, Well, everybody hurts sometimes Everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes And everybody hurts sometimes. So hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on.  
  
Everybody hurts, you are not alone"  
  
"Dave, why don't you open your eyes"? Luka asked as the music stopped.  
  
"Because I want to remember this moment" Dave said quietly. He leaned against Luka and stayed there. "Dave"? Luka said gently.  
  
"Yeah" Dave replied, looking up. Luka smiled for a second before leaning in and kissing his friend.  
  
~*~  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Carter, I was just so shocked and confused and upset. I didn't know what to do" Abby admitted, wiping her eyes with a tissue that Carter had provided. "You could've talked to me Abby, if you'd be honest from the start I would've understood" Carter replied, gently caressing Abby's free hand.  
  
"Do you want a child right now"? Abby asked, looking straight at Carter.  
  
"To be honest, I haven't really given it much thought" Carter admitted.  
  
"It's not just the fact the child might be bi-polar Carter. Think about it, we're not ready for a child. We've only just started dating. Our lives are too hectic, too busy. We wouldn't be able to provide a child with the stability it would need. That's why I can't keep this baby Carter, can you possibly understand"?  
  
"Abby" Carter replied, looking deep down into his girlfriend's eyes. "I love you. I love you so much, of course I understand. I also understand that one day in the future, you'll want children. If that day is months away or years away I will wait. I love you Abigail Lockhart"  
  
"And I love you too John" Abby smiled as she drew Carter close to her. The couple wrapped their arms around each other and shared a long, deep kiss. Their past argument forgotten, all they concentrated on was each other.  
  
~*~  
  
Dave pulled away slightly. Was he imagining things or did Luka just kiss him? Dave stared at his friend. "Luka"? He asked questioningly.  
  
"Just as I remembered" Luka said with a broad smile. Dave returned the smile, but remained confused. What exactly did Luka mean by the kiss? "Luka, are you alright"? He asked.  
  
"No Dave, I'm not alright. I'm more than alright, in fact, I'm very happy" Luka replied, staring at Dave intensely.  
  
"What do you mean"?  
  
"Do you want me Dave? If you do I suggest you shut that mouth of yours and give me another kiss" Luka smirked.  
  
"Does this mean"? Dave asked, a smile tugging at his lips.  
  
"Let's give it a try Dave, I think you're going to make me a very happy man" Luka said honestly. Despite his past gripes about Abby and his wife, Luka had never thought that Dave could be so open and frank about his feelings as he had been when he'd made his confession of love. Luka had never seen that side of Dave before, and it was a side that Luka felt he could fall in love with. And if he could fall in love with that side of Dave, he was sure the other parts would follow shortly afterwards. Luka knew deep in his heart that his wife wanted him to be happy and Dave appeared to be his chance at true happiness. A man who could make him feel so loved, so wanted. Dave began to kiss Luka, his tongue exploring the Croatian Attending's mouth. Luka kissed back, not just feeling the sexual urges run through his body, but the emotional ones too. The feeling he hadn't felt since his wife. Luka stroked Dave's soft hair and Dave gently broke the kiss. "So" Dave asked. "Where do we go from here"?  
  
THE END  
  
***I can't believe my story has actually come to an end now! Don't worry though. I won't be leaving things like that. I do have a sequel planned so you can see just how Luka and Dave and Carter and Abby's relationships develop. Until then, that was 'Where do we go from here', hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading!  
  
***'Where do we go from here' is dedicated to Luka, who as well as helping me with plot ideas supported the idea of this from the very start. Thank you for being you dude, I'll always love you! 


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